cool

wow~
Its Jan25th, there's only one week before the end of January 2011.
And i feel as tho i havent accomplished anything..
Still, Life goes on.
Been feeling rather lifeless lately. I dont know what i'm doing
oh,
Watched American Idol Season 10 Episode 1 & 2 Earlier.
Losta great talents. goodie! cant wait for Hollywood week.
anyway.
Sunday night, had a blast with my friends.
Steamboat at D11. :B *nom nom nom*
hahax, had our laughs and jokes. talks and well food. xD
Nothing much really. But it felt good to gather with friends.

Anyway, I guess i havent been doing much lately.
feeling really really lonely some nights. and days..
Finished House Of Night Book 2: Betrayed..
Getting book 3 and 4 soon. :)
thats kinda the only thing besides music thats keeping me intact from getting all emo.
I would find my friends. but most of them be busy and i dont know with what.
I dont know anything.
I really wanna just take up as many things i possibly can to fill this emptiness.
I have my wishes, I have my dreams and visions, I have my plans.
but the future itself still can turn many way.
and what about now? I have not plan anything for each day of my life.
I do this, i do that, but i still feel lost.
Is there anyone that's looking for me?
anyone out there to find me?

Been feeling kinda lightheaded too lately.
And everyday seems soo familiar to me, and yet its not.
I dont know whats going on with me,
I dont know what i feel, or what i dont feel.
I basically just lost myself.
I still do this and that, but I dont feel anything. I dont feel anything at all.
CNY coming up, and i can honestly say i'm not in the mood for it.
havent even bought my clothes or anything yet.
lol, my mum isnt into it this year either. :) so maybe not celebrating this year :X
But I know one thing's clear.
I. WANT. TO. FIND. MY. OWN. SHIAWASE.
That means Happiness... :'| heh. I dont know when was the time when i actually, felt happy.
But i miss it. i want it. i need it. my life is dulling up, and i dont know anything anymore
I need the adrenaline, the sparks, the extraordinary events, i dont care if it hurts.
i wanna feel alive. I wanna feel... something.. anything.
I feel Joy, I feel pain, but its all too familiar to me.
I need something more, something different. I know God can provide it for me.
I pray, I worked, I tried, but I still feel the same.
I'm just waiting now for something to happen.
My days seems meaningless despite how much I do.
I dont feel all that important or useful either.
Even though I know I have a better life than some,
or even that I personality wise is better than some,
But ultimately, I dont feel all that great.
And i wish i knew why...

Can You just tell me why?