Disappointing..

"In the hearts of the blind, something you'll never find is a vision of light."


So.. again I haven't been blogging in a while.. ahaha but I always come back..

This place of solace & solitude.
Behind every word is a story that no one can comprehend.
I haven't done anything productive in a while now.
I'm going to start my internship in March..
Then i'd be free and awaiting graduation.
so now.. i'm just gonna start rambling about life.



----------------Part1----------------

I hate how fast time flies,
I wanna go back, way back in time to a time where life isn't soo complicated.
But alas, such wishes are impossible within this world's reality... or is it?

In the end,
all I have left is this wanting, this.. desire.
I want to be someone new, I want to meet someone new, I want to goto a secret place, I want to have adventure and excitement, I want to die and be born again, I WANT a reset button for my life.

It's funny how as we grow we learn, but what we learn would never be applicable again.
Like if we did something that hurt us and we learned how to overcome it, it never happens again.
Because our self-conscious is having us never to enter such situations again.
What then are these experiences for?

To be perfectly honest, I don't even know what is there to live for?
or what anyone is living for. Or the whole point of being alive at all.
Everyone in the world is always looking for the divine meaning of their lives.
Is there a meaning? is there an answer?
I doubt it.

Religion? friends? career? achievements? goals?
what does any of this adds up to in the end?
Death. There is only death at the end.

What's the point of living?
The journey itself is the point of living, to experience all forms of highs and lows.
All the pain and suffering and the joyous moments.

Is that it? is that all? just for the mere experience of being alive?
I thought they'd be more.. there has to be more..

But there doesn't seem to be anymore,
This seems to be all life is... just an experience.


Personally, I feel that living a life, not worth it at all..
& what's worse is that half the people living in this world are making life even less worth living for.
Oh how the mighty has fallen. People grow weaker & darker each passing day.

What hope is there left in the human race?
If this is how life is gonna be, then its all it'll ever be...
It is what humans make it to be... life is a disappointment..

I guess it's time for me to stop lazing and questioning such meaningless questions.
And just put myself out there and burst into the crowd with new ideas and confidence..
ahaha probably not... no not me..

I'll just continue to observe and see how these people around me choose to live for now.
It's often entertaining to see how people make choices and meet the consequences of their actions.

As it is entertaining to know that they'll all regret it one day,
and they'll start realizing that life could have been better if they'd known how to lived it properly.



----------------Part2----------------

Tortured minds, tortured bodies, tortured souls.. that's all that's left of humans.

It would appear that I've found my own form of enlightenment..
Not in light nor in darkness but in knowledge and understanding.
aha... but perhaps not everyone would view my thoughts as such..


I truly wonder.. Will there ever be anything that'd excite me in my life..?
& Oh how I hope I live to see this world evolve..

Aliens? Zombies? Demons? Angels?
Robots? Solar Flares? Ragnarok? Apocalypse? Armageddon?

The end of the world...?

Aha.. I think it's in everyone's minds to believe that the end will come.
As life is just soo meaningless to be lived now..
All that's left in the minds of men is death of the world..
The more they believed, the higher chance it is of it become reality..

Like how Black Magic works with believes of the souls and minds..
Like how Chi is a believe and mindset of the monks & martial artists that channels it in their souls..
Like how believers cry in the intense atmosphere of a holy ground.
Like how with just a focus of the mind a person can bend spoons and forks.
The human mind & soul is the power beyond this world..
The gateway to an alternate reality.

Oh.. how did human race ended up using their minds to create meaningless things.
and believe in the end of life, out of all things..
Too bad... it's soo sad...
Just how low has the human race gotten within the last few hundred years?
If any of the people from the 18th - 19th century were to see us now..
They'd be looking at us with such disgust..

Humans discovered fire within the early stages of the world..
To look back and think that, the people of the past created..

Fire - Light - Electricity - Communication - Travel - Weapons - and all forms of technology..
To the point where.. all we're doing now is creating new versions of old things?

Oh gawd! how corrupted are the minds of humans now..
How can the human race that once took on the impossibility of this world and make it reality.
Come to being.. an update of softwares and phones?
Why is there no teleportation, no power suits, no cure for cancer..?
is there no longer any creativity left in the minds of men?
is this how the world is to end?

It'd be tragic..
truly tragic for the world to end at the time when the human race are at their lowest form.
In my eyes, i see.. how the world.. society and the evil hearts of the human race,
has completely and utterly destroyed and removed any hope of evolution in themselves.

There's nothing left... nothing left in anyone of us..
How cruel a fate it is.. for me to have been born in a time when my beliefs and creativity would not be recognized nor understood by my peers...

Sickening it is....
dreadfully sickening..