Mirror Mirror On the Wall...

Life works in mysterious ways.

I'm going to start working tomorrow. mainly just for experience.
As a english tuition teacher. lol~ I seriously feel a bit crazy to actually accept such a job o.O

Ahh anyway hmm.. I went for a movie last week :)
Mirror Mirror ahahax~ not a movie i'd usually watch but... okaye...
and then did most of my homework and assignment already.
Should be able to get everything ready for the pass up by week's end.
Soo yeah~ Its all good..

Uhmm i'm not sure what to write or say really..
I've been quite confused..
like saturday night, i broke down cos I was well u know emotional.
due to thinking too much i guess, the usual stuff like..
How did I end up like this~ even if I can have a great future will I have someone to share it with?
yeahh.... emotional.. My thoughts have been hectic.
But I guess that cant be helped.
Still waiting for that moment when I'd get through all this emotional phases and just get into an emotionless, no feelings, life.

I guess I kinda feel like I dont want to get too attached or close to people at this moment,
cos its like I'm gonna leave kuching soon, and leave malaysia soon too hopefully.
and thoughts like that makes me feel like I shouldnt get too attached,
or I might actually miss it here, or miss the people here, the places here.
I guess that's why i've been emotional lately eh.
All I do is focus on the bad points, because I don't want the good points to hold me down.

Forcing myself to suffer?
Oh yes I am. I just really hate it here, the memories. my past. oh gawd, i hate my past.
No amount of happiness or goodness of my present life can ever over weigh the weight of my past.
I wanna leave, I wanna get away. I want to start a new..

I remember when i was young, i thought of running away and living in a jungle or something. hehe. I guess maybe cos I watched peter pan when i was young. LOL!
But yeah, I always dream of running away.
I've always been the odd one out, ever since kindergarten all the way to lower secondary school.
For the way I talk, wrote, was... people were not ready for an emotional person like me I guess.
But now look at me, I'm one of the best in my class.
I have plenty of good friends. my life isn't that bad right now.
But still.. I want to leave it all behind, for a dream of living a new life.. :)

I just want to get away.. uhmm yeah.. thats pretty much it.. :)