21...

So.. my 21st birthday..

Growing up... growing older.. I come to realize who I am.
I've met people, good people, awesome people, amazing people, friends, brothers, sisters, disciples and masters. People who've given me hopes, and people who caused utter disappointments.
People who hurt and people who heal. People who leaves and people that stays.
On the hour when I was asleep on my birthday~

I cried, for I realized as far as my memory can go back, I've never had a birthday will a full family before.
And I know I never will, perhaps someday when I have my own family I would.
At the moment of my wake,

I found my resolve. I found myself. I realize that in Life, people simply don't get happy endings.
Life just isn't going to be easy and people will always disappoint.
I've completely and utterly given up on the people around me.

A day of celebration? sure.. a celebration of my enlightenment.
To Live is to adapt~ to grow~
I've given up on hope, I've given up on dreams.
All I have is a goal..
A goal to run~ to leave this place~~
To leave it all behind~ A goal I will achieve even if I was to be the death of me.
F*ck everything and everyone.
I don't need anything or anyone. I just need to push myself towards the ending I desire.
I'm tired of being neglected, tired of being disappointed.

Everyone get disappointed... just as everyone will disappoint others.
this is the way humans are~ pure disappointments~
We disappoint God, we disappoint people, animals, country, land, sea, air~
The whole Universe are disappointed by the way we humans have lived..
So I've decided to pay no more heed to such feelings anymore.

I'm tired of feeling anymore~~
And at some point I think maybe I don't even feel anything anymore..
My heart is beating, but it feels dead..
Probably a sign that I'm growing up eh?
Probably this is the reason why, many adults dont show their emotions..
Because they no longer have any..

I'm tired of everything..
This is the end.
"Good guys dont get happy endings."
So I have to make my own ending.. and on this journey I shall make the best of it.
No matter what comes my way, I'd overcome it my way.
This is my resolve. This is the start.

Happy 21st Birthday to me!
May all my past be forgotten and start of a new age begin~