Poema: Remembering You .:Review:.

♥ Just got Poema's new album yesterday ♥

♥ Remembering You ♥

I fell in love with it, its just lovely. just like the singers :)



POEMA

I just purely love every single song in this album :)


1. Clean Getaway
This song really reflects on me.. about a father who runs away and never came back, with lyrics like:
"Did you even pack a single photograph of me? one little memory?
You thought it would be easy, well baby it was for you.
I watch you walk away I still don't know why.
I guess you were running, you broke my window paint. I started to cry.
& If there's a single sound I'll never forget is your engine running.
I wish you'd seen the mess that you made.. with you clean getaway. "

So obviously it reminds me of my own father. hah.. so yeah. it hits close to home. :')



2. Wonder
This has got to be the loveliest song I've ever heard.
"Is it just an impression I'm under? Do I even have to wonder?
I heard there might be someone in this world, exactly what's been missing in mine."
So.. basically it gives me hope for future love? aha.. :')



3. Fallin'
loving someone but not wanting to.. :|
"I think I.. I think I.. I think I'm fallin' in love with you..
Dont want to love you but I want to be here.
Dont think I can fight it anymore."



4. Hesitate
I love this song, cos' the guitar strumming reminds me of taylor swift ahahaha.
"Oh I know, what you never know.
How fast the time is gonna go,
We're fools if we take it slow.
So don't you wait to say the words you need to say.
Cos' this could be the only day, we're happy before it's too late.
So don't you hesitate."



5. Apricots
cute song.. :')
"Walk down just pass the apricot grove,
to the pond where we use to whisper things that nobody knew."



6. Play With Fire
Loving the wrong person
"So, no sir. I know better than to play with fire. I've been here before, I was just burned.
You should never mess around with water, it will put you out~"



7. Footprints
Another lovely song :')
"Footprints in the sand.. I'm washing away.. "



8. Your Song

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SONG :)
"In your heart I found my voice, you're the melody above the noise.
I will sing~ sing~ just for you. Let it bring~ bring~ joy to you. Only you."



9. My Turn To Go
This song just really reminds me of my latest relationship... Ayuko.. :'(

Seasons come and seasons go.
Before you know we're all grown.
Time can be a greedy thing.
I hope you know I'll miss you so..
There'll never be an easy way to let you go..
I know I never told you, I hope I've showed you.
You're the reason that I'm who I am..
So I can only love you till I'm old..
Till it's my turn to go..



10. Would You?
This song just brings me some confidence somehow.
I guess I just sorta hope whoever I fall in love with would have this in mind.. heh.. maybe.
"I want dinner made for two and you to make a move, But you never do.
Oh darling' if you knew what to do, would you? "



11. Love Of My Life
"I don't deserve you, but I'm so happy you're mine."
just the sentence I wish I could say .__.

Arts, Magic and Religion

When the question was asked, it was a moment of anguish and frustration. And from that frustration the words blurted out, "Animated Short Film".

That'd be my final assignment topic.. now... where do I start?

I need inspiration!!!

I need... to go out and party and and.. cheer up

before i die from this stressful ceremony of arts and designs.

---------------♥---------------

On a brighter note~
I'mma receiving my first pay cheque end of this month, goodie goodie.

And I didn't even feel like I did much :) still....

Money, money come to me

In abundance three times three

May I be enriched in the best of ways
Harming none on its way

This I accept, so mote it be

Bring me money three times three!

Three seems to be my lucky number. hmm..

That is a spell quoted from: www.spellsandmagic.com

and yes its black magic.. and I actually said that chant a week before I got the job.

Did it actually work? I'll never know..

Black Magic, did you know the first step of doing black magic is to accept God?

Its believed that all the powers are all God given.

The whole chanting thing is actually a just a poetic proclamation of belief.

And the Bible does teach

"If you proclaim it with faith~ it shall be."

I tried.. Astral Projection (Out-Of-Body Experience)
Its like the spiritual meeting you get when you get filled with the holy spirit.

But its different as it's done with a person's own spiritual strength..

Its where your spirit moves out of your body and into the astral plains/unseen world/spirit world. Where a mere thought and teleport your spirit to any destination.It's also a way to communicate with God more intimately spiritually.

I'll admit I wasn't searching for God, though if I did find him I'd have tons to ask..

Unfortunately,

I wasn't able to keep myself at peace during the meditation process..

And I ended up with lack of sleep, had a bad headache and couldnt get out of bed for 2days.

Conclusion:

Black magic is serious business..

But what got me more interested in the idea was a Psychological Anime called:

Ghost Hound

Where the main character is able to enter the spirit world/astral planes whenever he wishes. Due to life trauma, psychological/mental effects and self-understanding he could pass between worlds. He and his sister was kidnap when he was young, and the kidnapper died when the police were pursuing him. Due to his death, the police were unable to find the 2 children until 3 days later, when they found them. He was alive but his sister didn't make it. So he was taken into counselling and in high school he wants to remember what happen but couldn't which trigger the whole spirit world entrance.
Its all a psychological effect, scientifically.
But is it really?


So yeah.. I've been travelling on a road less travel. ahaha.

Tired Of Living Like A Blind Man~

My latest update is simple:

Arghhh~ frustrated with my final assignment :(

also.. i'm supposed to have class today, but it was cancelled without notice..

Now I'm trying to look for ideas on what to do for my final,

but am still unable to find any.

SO overall.. i'm just really stressed.. :(

I wish time could just stop a while... and let me catch my breath..

In the past few days,

I've been spam listening to the album by the new group delta rae..

lol I love their songs and their vocals.

And in a way it calms my mood :)

Conflicted

ahahaha! I finally have a job~
a simple job, with simple pay.. okay.

But.. i prefer doing this, then anything direct selling .__.

So... I havent done much the past few days..
Been dying from searching online for a good multimedia project that I can do for my final assignment.. But it's harder than anticipated.. its crazy hard to find any good yet easy design..

Mood:
~STRESSED~

ahh.. sighhh~
Today I had an emotional breakdown.
Been a longgg time since I had one..

not sure if its overstressed or due to this conflicted emotions..
I guess at some point,
there's a piece of my heart somewhere that still cares for her.

Its like how~
even if u bury the feelings they still find someway to crawl their way back out of the heart somehow. and yes it's as gross as it sounds.
AHAHA~ But then.. I figured it out..
And I even found a song that resembled my conclusion.

And the lyrics that speaks was..

"When you said it's over, I lost my head! And now that we're older I'm giving up on being right, So I can see the other side of you!"

And that would be the grown up version of her, that at some point I admire.
Over the year she's really grown up.
And that's just amazing :)


And I'm starting to feel that maybe this semester wont be that bad. hopefully.


Hmm...
Sometimes I wonder if blogging is a good idea... writing out every emotion to every ups and every downs.. But i love writing.. so who cares~ and besides~ at least this way, when I grow old & die. At least there's still be a story of my life here online :)
Sorta like "The Notebook" :D

Anyway~

So here's my new theme song;

"To Be Loved" - "Train"




Finally met Virginia on a slow summer night
Thought I should forgive ya so I came back
You're a sight for sore eyes
Right for those lies
They saved me after all!

Right from the beginning we were wrong I found
But no one did it better baby pound for pound
Those heavyweight fights were right for me
To learn how to see the light clearly
And it's the light I see in you!

No, don't go
I'll show you what it's like to be loved!
No, don't go
I'll show you what it's like to be loved!
(ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)
What it's like to be loved!
(ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)

Now that things are better for me
I can laugh at all your other lovers
When you do the math
Does it make you feel sad,
Make you feel small?
Thank God it ain't about me anymore!

I'm not coming back for round two
I just wanna love you like a friend would do
You were wrong for the feelings you had
But the man that I was isn't coming back
So stay, it's OK!

No, don't go
I'll show you what it's like to be loved!
No, don't go
I'll show you what it's like to be loved!
(ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)
What it's like to be loved!
(ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)

When you said it's over
I lost my head!
And now that we're older
I'm giving up on being right
So I can see the other side of you!

No, don't go
I'll show you what it's like to be loved!
No, don't go
I'll show you what it's like to be loved!
(ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)
when you said it's over
What is like to be loved!
(ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)
I lost my head!
What it's like to be loved!
(ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)
And now that we're older
What it's like, what it's like to be loved!

Yeah This Is Living But Without The Will.

Anyway first off, I got ric's Hard-disk,
got a bunch of new games to play n movies to watch...
If I have the time.. since I'm having my final project this semester.. sighh


Thursday was the first class of the final project.
Felt soo stress hearing about it..
need to use soo many programs,
soo many codes, soo much work.. ARGH!
and I still have no idea what to make yet!
Completely blank ...!




Yesterday was a public holiday..
i spent it doing research and playing a horror game.
yeahh.. playing a horror game on Chinese Ghost Independence Day Festival. HAH!
Then I got a headache n went to sleep.. Ahaha


& Today.. SATURDAY was my first Bahasa Kebangsaan class.. ARGH!
Surprisingly everyone in the class had the same level of Bahasa Malaysia as me! :D

BM Level: 0 ..

Which is good.. since its like.. oh good everyones a noobie not just me. :D
tho, i could tell that the lecturer was more stress. ahahaha
Our first work was to write an 350 word essay on..
"Tentang Diri Saya" (about myself)
boring, annoying, and everyone wrote it like.. a primary school student.
Yay~ No idea how i'm gonna pass this subject in the future exam. zz



In the afternoon..
It was quite interesting actually.


u know that awkward moment when uhmm..
You havent seen a person in a long time and they're studying to be a future teacher, then meet up watching an adult comedy (The Watch)


uhh yeahhhh.. AHAHAHA..

Long story short =
I had a date with the devil who surprisingly turned human over a year+


We didn't do much.. but it was nice really.. in a way.. i guess. :X

.
..
...
..
.

AHAHAHA! its like...

"We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time" - The Script


and.. I guess its good.. since I havent been out in a while..
( was stuck in a cave for one whole semester..!!! )

and it did get my mind off some things.. so.. THANKS :)


Hopefully we'd have the chance to go out again before I disappear... hmm..

Oh & This song is for you :D
tho.. i'm not sure if u'd changed ur taste in music d or wat.. :|


Lost in Paradise - Evanescence





I've been believing in something so distant
As if I was human
And I've been denying this feeling of hopelessness
In me, in me

All the promises I made
Just to let you down
You believed in me, but I'm broken

I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting

We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise

As much as I'd like the past not to exist
It still does
And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here
I'm just as scared as you

I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting

We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise

Run away, run away
One day we won't feel this pain anymore

Take it all away
Shadows of you
Cause they won't let me go

Until I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting

We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise

Alone, and lost in paradise




P.S/
The tomato mee shop u said last time we ate at, is around Jalan Kapor area. But i cant remember the shop name. LOL XD

:(

What happened to you??

I died when every one decided to leave .

Autumn

So.. its Mid-August..
Which marks the end of another busy semester..
I did a lot this sem actually :D helped people with designs while being busy doing my own schoolwork.
Damn hectic -__- but it was fun..
Unfortunely I'd be taking my final next sem... SIGH!
Independent Design Production...
which we're suppose to make one uber big project within the 3 1/2 months.. still unsure of what to make ~_~
Needs to have the 5 elements of multimedia in it...
AVITA - Audio, Video, Image, Text And Animation

Arghh~ I can feel the pressure.. ahaha
But for time being i shall relax myself.. :)

Its Autumn/Fall ... so there's a bunch of new melodramatic/romance anime out..

=========================================

1 - Tari Tari (タリタリ)

'Tari Tari' is an interesting anime.. that revolves around the story of 5 high school students, each with a different family background, lifestyle and future dreams. The story is mainly about how they all created a choir club in school, so there's a lot of singing. Though, in the end their club ended up becoming a multipurpose club, where they try their best to reach their goals together.

I love the Soundtrack in this anime. :D

Tari Tari Opening (ENG/JAP SUB)



=========================================


2 - Natsuyuki Rendezvous (夏雪ランデブー)



The plot is quite simple, this guy (Ryosuke) fell in love with a florist (Rokka) and was too scared to confess to her, instead he went by her shop to buy flowers from her everyday. Till one day Rokka posted a part-time worker vacancy, which Ryosuke immediately took up.
However, when Ryosuke started working there he sees Rokka's dead-Husband, who isn't gonna let Ryosuke have a chance with his wife. So its fun to watch AHAHA


Natsuyuki Rendezvous Promotional Video



This was actually a very famous Romance Manga.. and the anime isn't bad either :) ahahaha I'm actually hoping for them to make it into a Live Drama~ like they did for "Paradise Kiss " ahaha


=========================================


3 - Sword Art Online



The plot in this anime is simple, a new virtual reality online game was released 'Sword Art Online (SAO)' when the game was first created and was undergoing Beta Testing only 1,000 players were allowed to test it. When the game full release, only 10,000 copies of the game was produced. The game was an instant hit and everyone who could get their hands on the game got it. When they entered the game and started out the first few levels, the 10,000 eventually found that there was no Logout button on their menu.



By evening, everyone was teleported to the Beginner town square where the GameMaster appeared and told them, that being unable to logout is part of the game's main mechanics and there is no way to leave the game. If by any chance their virtual helmet is removed, they'd have their brains fried, if they die in game, they will die in real life. (then he shows them a bunch of news reports of it already happening) and the only way out is to fight their way up to the final boss starting from the bottom floor (Beginning Level) all the way up the dungeon floors to the top level (100th Floor)..



Sword Art Online Trailer



Okay, so this is an anime about a virtual reality game where the players are stuck in and cant get out.. Similar to .Hack//Sign storyline.. and since that was my favorite childhood anime.
I LOVED TIS!

=========================================

Okay that's all :) Thanks for reading. LOL!

Words Spoken

A pictures holds a thousand words.
Sometimes it speaks louder than actions and words..
And at times... picture with words speak the loudest :)

Space Bound

We touch I feel a rush
We clutch it isn't much
But it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us
It's lust, it's torturous
You must be a sorceress 'cause you just
Did the impossible
Gained my trust don't play games it'll be dangerous
If you fuck me over
'Cause if I get burnt imma show you what it's like to hurt
'Cause I been treated like dirt before you
And love is "evol"
Spell it backwards I'll show you

Nobody knows me I'm cold
Walk down this road all alone
It's no one's fault but my own
It's the path I've chosen to go
Frozen as snow I show no emotion whatsoever so
Don't ask me why I have no love for these motherfucking hoes
Bloodsucking succubuses, what the fuck is up with this?
I've tried in this department but I ain't had no luck with this
It sucks but it's exactly what I thought it would be
Like trying to start over
I got a hole in my heart, for some kind of emotional rollercoaster
Something I won't go on 'til you toy with my emotion, so it's over
It's like an explosion every time I hold you, I wasn't joking when I told you
You take my breath away
You're a supernova... and I'm a

I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
Two hundred fifty thousand miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
Right at you

I do whatever it takes
When I'm with you I get the shakes
My body aches when I ain't
With you I have zero strength
There's no limit on how far I would go
No boundaries, no lengths
Why do we say that until we get that person that we thinks
Gonna be that one and then once we get 'em it's never the same?
You want them when they don't want you
Soon as they do feelings change
It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate
I wasn't looking but I stumbled onto you must've been fate
But so much is at stake what the fuck does it take
Let's cut to the chase
But a door shuts in your face
Promise me if I cave in and break and leave myself open
That I won't be making a mistake
Cause I'm a...

I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
Two hundred fifty thousand miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
Right at you

So after a year and 6 months it's no longer me that you want
But I love you so much it hurts
Never mistreated you once
I poured my heart out to you
Let down my guard swear to God
I'll blow my brains in your lap
Lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm pleading
I'm trying to stop you from leaving
You won't even listen so fuck it
I'm trying to stop you from breathing
I put both hands on your throat
I sit on top of you squeezing
'Til I snap you neck like a Popsicle stick
Ain't no possible reason I could think of to let you walk about this house
And let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks
Then I let you go and just give
And before I put that gun to my temple
I told you this

And I would've done anything for you
To show you how much I adored you
But it's over now
It's too late to save our love
Just promise me you'll think of me every time you look up in the sky and see a star 'cause I'm a

I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
250 thousand miles on a clear night in June
And I'm so lost without you
Without you
Without you

Displacement . Disappearance . Development

Picture taken from I'm Dreamin' It Facebook page.

The more you like yourself, the less you're like anyone else, which makes you unique. - Walt Disney


.:Displacement:.

I've displace my life from something i know and love, To something i should never had cared about. A lot of time has passed since I last felt alive. And the experiences I've had along the way pushed me back to my roots. I am what I am. I've lost myself, but now I'm found anew. I've wandered lost for so long, Only to find the displacement of me and my old self was but a step away. I'm tired of hoping, tired of waiting, tired of wishing, tired of dreaming, tired of being everything I am.

.:Disappearance:.

On the verge of letting go of everything that's holding me back and down. I've come to realize the reason behind my demise. A compassionate heart. A weakness of mine that has caused more harm than good. Love. Why do you love someone who've hurt and rejected you? Or why are you still willing to try your best despite the pain? A mystery that can never be solved. A feeling that is often taken for granted. A heart as broken as mine can never be fixed... And now I feel as though, I don't want it to be.

Nobody cares, nobody notices, when it comes right down to it... I'm alone...And within the shards of my broken heart, I cast out all the pain, suffering, feelings, emotions, love, hate... Wishing for it all to disappear and to never be found. I've been hurt enough for one lifetime. I wish only peace of which only solitude can offer me. This is the conclusion that has been shown to me.... Before anyone notices, I'll be gone forever.

.:Development:.

The end of me. A process by which I will be reborn into something stronger. What I've learned from past experience, is no one is gonna care if you give up on yourself. Especially if you've given up on yourself, but not on them. By which has showed me truth and enlightenment. Giving up on myself isn't gonna change anything. The world will still suck and will still remain in its broken state. There is nothing saving this world from its end.

Caring about those around you, isn't gonna make any difference. It hurts really, to know that everything I've done is equivalent to nothing. Oh how weak the human mind is, to forget the good that has been given to them. Same case with me, i suppose. By which is something I don't want anymore. I don't want to love anymore. I don't want to care anymore. I don't want to feel anymore. But instead of giving up on myself. I'm giving up on you and everyone else in this world.

I've tried my best to find a reason to life, a meaning for my existence, and I found none. There is nothing, and if I died now it'd be but a small tiny little speck of sadness within this already broken world, after a week and no one would care anymore. The human race has degraded itself to the point of no return, a point that would destroy everything. And with how everyone on earth is like right now, I've found no reason to be me anymore. Crawling my way back into my shell. I shall reform myself into a monster that feels nothing. I loved this world and everything in it, but it just isn't worth it.. I give up.

Vintage Love

Rainbows, Balloons, Chocolates, Roses, Vintage Outfits and Sepia Photos.
Hats, Sunglasses, High Heels, Polka Dotted Dresses, Leather Jackets, Bikes and Paris.
Vintage Happiness & Love, At Its Best.

That's the kind of Love I wish for.. u know the whole, rich and beautiful girl falling for the artistic guy who sells art by the street for 30bucks a piece. and when the girl meets him, they fall madly in love at the fountain at the town square.

The whole romance gig, in real life.. :) If only I could be that lucky.
Very often I feel that I was born into the wrong century. Simply because I still believe in true love and romance like that and my love for art.. Since in this modern world, Art and romance is easily overlooked.. Sad really.. :\

So... anyway my blog has been super duper emotional.. cos i've been super duper emotional... I'm feeling better now tho. Spent the last few days watching romance movies.. Surprisingly they help more than causing more pain.. ahaha :)

Gonna review them one by one ^^
Brace yourself there are alotttt :)




The Notebook (2004)
"I have a crush on your mind, I fell for your personality and your looks are just a big bonus"
This movie isn't that new, and its actually my 2nd time watching it. But I still love it. True love cant break 2 people apart :) I just love the whole setting in this story. And although the usual poor guy falling for rich girl, romeo and juliet story is really common now. Each one always have its own unique-ness and this one has one of the best. The Notebook, one of my favorite romance.
9/10




Because I Said So (2007)
" I love that you have this insane way of talking in circles that makes perfect sense."
I like this storyline to be honest, ahaha.. cos the girl ended up with an artistic guy :D hahas. IMDb Sypnosis of the story: A meddling single mother tries to set her daughter up with the right man so her kid won't follow in her footsteps.
And that's pretty much it. :) the whole story goes pretty lovely..
Stars: Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Lauren Graham, Piper Perabo
6/10




The Last Song (2010)
"Sometimes you have to be apart from the people you love, but that doesn't mean you love them any less, sometimes it even makes you love them more"

I love this movie, its very sweet.. and its the movie that made me love~ Miley Cyrus. She's awesome in this movie.. I love the soundtrack, the storyline and everything. Okay, I guess anything by Nicholas Sparks is amazing :) in books and in movies.
Amazing movie ~_~ nuff' said
9/10




Love, Wedding, Marriage (2011)
"The key to a successful marriage is to find those qualities that make you fall in love with your spouse again every day"
This movie is rather silly, but still a good movie to watch. Its about how a girl who tries to get her parents to not divorce while endangering her own marriage in the process. Its okay, but probably better to watch with a partner rather than alone.
But of course if you're a fan of Mandy Moore or Kellan Lutz, you'd love it.
5/10




Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011)
"The war between the sexes is over. We won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise. "
This one is similar to "Love, Wedding, Marriage" in a way.
But still completely different, its about a guy who is about to get separated with his wife. While a bunch of things happen, starting with him getting into a bar complaining about his wife and eventually meeting a guy who teach him how to hook up with womens at the bar. Its a fun movie to watch, funny and overall I like the connection of all the characters.
Stars: Steve Carrel, Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Analeigh Tipton
7/10




Take Me Home Tonight (2011)
Okay, this story is a little more typical. Its 4 years after graduation and old schoolmates having a Labor Day party as a reunion, where the main character Matt tries to tell his high school crush how he feels about her, with a bunch of lies cos' he thinks he isn't good enough for her.
Typical story :) fill in the blanks yourself. but its still quite a nice movie.
5/10




Prom (2011)
"When I'm about to kiss you, you'll know it."
Teenage Disney Movie!! :) This is worth watching!
The song u're hearing in my blog now. is from this movie! ahaha.. Its good. A little typical, but thats how disney is. Its about how everyone in school react and change differently when its nearing the graduation day. And how prom is the big event where everyone who probably never even speak to each other can get together and have a final day at school with one another. and if find the main actress: Aimee Teegarden, pretty good in this movie. :D
7/10




Beastly (2011)
"People make such a big deal about looks, but when you know someone you don't even notice them anymore. "
My friend told me that this movie sucked cos it wasn't as good as the book and that twilight movie was better. okay, taking that into consideration. I watched the movie, and found the movie actually is quite nice. Probably cos' I never read the book but its still nice, its more romantic than twilight. If you dont know, the story is basically a Beauty and The Beast story. How a popular and handsome guy was cursed to look ugly until he finds someone who can love him beyond outer looks and see inner beauty instead. :) And Vanessa Hudgens wasnt tat bad in this movie.
7/10




Monte Carlo (2011)
"I finally meet a guy who likes me for me. And I'm not even me."
This movie is nice, it gave me the whole princess diary feel to it.. I guess its due to the whole european and rich theme to the whole story. Its good, its more a teenage movie than pure romance. but worth watching :)

And I'd like to add that I never liked Selena Gomez, and the reason I watch this movie was cos of Leighton Meester.. But after watching is movie, I find Selena not that bad. I guess I only disliked her due to Justin Bieber. ahaha.. mehh~

Still a good movie :) the typical being an imposter of a superstar story but with a little bit of family drama and you have a pretty solid storyline.
8/10




The Vow (2012)
" I vow to love you, and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other. "

Okay, I gotta say, this is an amazing story :)
I love everything about this.. Its just nice to watch.. another movie to leave me speechless. The story is about how a married couple got into a car accident and the girl lose her memory. And the guy tries as best he could to make her fall in love with him again..
I loved this movie~
8/10





That's it :) and it really makes me wonder if love in real life would ever be as blissful and happy as the movies.. hmm~

I'm Suffocating

I'm my own worse enemy~

I'm feeling horrible :\ worse than horrible in fact.
ahahaha.. I feel alone.. oh soo alone..

Yes, I'm alone by choice.
I don't want to get hurt anymore..
Its a decision I've made cos' I've been hurt by people enough this year.
I know its just half the year, but I've been hurt wayy too much already.
and no one even cares much anyway.
Those that do care are too far away from me to help.

Gawd, I cant wait to leave this heartless place behind ... :\
I've GIVEN UP... cos there's nothing left for me..
Right now my life is like extremely emotional.
I feel like jumping off a cliff the moment I find a cliff that's high enough to kill me.
Hmm.. I remember I use to be emotional like this..
Its been a long time .__.
And now I've come right around in a full circle back to point 1 of emotionality.
I gotta say, it bites just as much as it did 7years ago.

I've taken a chance in a more positive life, lived my life in a slightly brighter light.
Crawling in the grey area.. but after everything..
I feel the way I felt back then, people are overrated, all they do is hurt, cheat, leave, lie.
As if it means anything in the end.. what happens at the end of their life?
regret? perhaps disappointment or self-hatred? whatever the case...
I've clawed my way back into the embrace of darkness..
For how long will I stay? I do not know..
But if I can make it through these dark days by the time of opportunity,
I'm sure things will get better... probably..

But if things were to get worse before then...
I dare not think of it... :|

Shadows has overtaken me...

I just want to shut my eyes and drift away...



Shut your eyes and think of somewhere
Somewhere cold and caked in snow
By the fire we break the quiet
Learn to wear each other well

And when the worrying starts to hurt
and the world feels like graves of dirt
Just close your eyes until
you can imagine this place, yeah, our secret space at will

Shut your eyes, I spin the big chair
And you'll feel dizzy, light, and free
And falling gently on the cushion
You can come and sing to me

And when the worrying starts to hurt
and the world feels like graves of dirt
Just close your eyes until
you can imagine this place, yeah, our secret space at will

(Shut your eyes [x4])

Shut your eyes and sing to me (Shut your eyes and sing to me) [x4]

Incapability

Uhmm I've been well.. over-thinking.. as always.
"Incapability" is the word :)

A long time ago, I wondered about all the worse case scenario if a relationship.
First, would be being in love with a sick girl. I'd do my best to visit her everyday.
Let her experience everything in life, and make her happy...
Remember my post last time about feeling horrible about Ayuko's death..
yeah.. that feeling still remains of course..
As well as the lingering feeling of Incapability..
As I wasn't even able to be there for her, I couldn't even be there for her funeral..
yeah.. :|

Another worse case scenario would be
falling in love with a pregnant girl who doesnt have a husband.
well, if I was in love with her, i'd support her n her family without a doubt. :)
even if she isn't ready for a relationship or whatever that'd be what i'd do.
My friend is going through a similar situation, I wish I could do something.
But I incapable...
knowing the problem, knowing what to do is one thing.
But to have the materials and funds to do it is another .__.
At times I wish I was born into a rich family, to stop seeing people going through such hard fates.
But I wasnt born rich... :(

In a relationship,
She deserves someone who can make her happy and give her a happy life.
As well as one who can provide for her and her family.
And make her smile everyday without a doubt.

But again, I'm Incapable.
This world is too materialistic for the likes of a lover like me .__.

I wish I could be there to hug you and tell you that everything is alright.
That you can let it go, let everything go
and just let the tears fall and disappear forever.
To allow you to be free from the sadness and emptiness.
To show you how true love really is like, without the sad depression.
To be the guide you wish for soo dearly.
But, I'm incapable of it... I'll be leaving soon :|

I guess at some point I've made my choice that my dream of leaving.
The choice to press the reset button on my life,
is more important than giving everything I am to a relationship.
I've not felt happy in a long time. And don't think I will anytime soon.
I just want to stop loving for now.. I cant handle the pain..

I'm emotional, spiritual, forgiving, self-less, faster, stronger, smarter, creative, hardworking and overall good in everything I want to be good in..
My goal in life is to reach as close to PERFECT as I possibly can..
I may not be rich, but i'm still one of the best person anyone could ever find.
I may be incapable of giving a lover everything she wants,
but I'll be the person to give her everything she needs..

I only wonder now if there is anyone out there for me .__.
Alas.. I'm incapable of seeing the future..

I fear, my goal for perfection would leave me a bachelor forever..
Often I wonder, would that be soo bad? :\

ahaha~ one of my friend told me that, she'd prefer me to be in love than single forever.
I asked her why, she said she just does..

To be honest, I do too.. I miss having someone to hold/someone to hold me.
Unless love is something as simple as emotions, feelings, desires, gift of chocolates and roses..
I dont see how I can fit in to it now...

Now.. all i see that maintains a relationship mainly... is money..
The world today is of such insecurity and incapability of loving until no matter what you do..
There isn't any love left.. No one love like they should anymore.
It isn't real... how can I be with someone who isnt a true lover?
Simple, I cant. But how does one differentiate a true lover from a fake one?
it isn't possible. The incapability of seeing a person's true form, is scary...
It doesnt provide happiness nor fulfillment like a relationship is suppose to....

I may not be capable of being perfectly nice and rich at the same time.
But I'm definitely capable of loving with my whole heart, are you?

Steampunk

First off..
Last night/This morning as i was watching quite a lame movie cos I couldnt sleep.
"Doomsday (2008)"3/10
Good movie, horrible storyline, alot of gore and slightly boring.
I ended up doodling an artwork in front of my computer :) lol

Its based on Steampunk style artwork :)
for those who dont know, steampunk is actually Victorian Science Fiction.
Google it and see all the awesome creativity-ness of Steampunk.

060612

Happy birthday to me :)
It was my birthday uhmm yesterday.. ahaha June 6th :)
I'm officially no longer a teen! :( I feel old..

Uhmm i didn't celebrated :( as always..
Every year, when i want to celebrate something bad happens.. sigh!
Tis' year i was planning to go out for Snow White & The Huntsman with my friends.
But it was cancelled cos my friend's car got knocked by a policeman

Yes, a policeman got into an accident with him.. although its a small accident..
just a small dent in the bumper.. but that guy, being a policeman needed to follow protocol. etc. etc.
Uhmm he looked more sad than anything else. me n my friends agreed that he's probably sad cos he's gonna get ban from using anymore police vehicles :\ hmm..

So yeah... my plan for movie was cancelled cos of that.. sigh!
I received a total of 81 Birthday wishes on fb and sms :)
Comparing that to the 200++ i got on fb a few years back..
I prefer the ones i got this year.. cos 90% of the 81 are from people who are really close to me :)
Its the result of clearing my 1000+ fb friends
to just the 400+ people that i actually know and care about.

I guess my bday wasn't all bad.. got to go to the police station o_o uhmm..
got to compete in League Of Legends Online Qualifiers but lost..
got to chat with an interesting girl,
who nows owe me a mcFlurry and whose actually very fun to chat with :)
got to influence my cute junior to finally gimme the McD he owes me xD
uhmm Gotten a smurf and sketchbook from my beloved twin :)
uhhmmm got to joke around about flying over to the States and celebrating my birthday a 2nd time before the day ends there.
Met a new blogger friend who is really great in poetry and writing.. wooww...
Got a psychotic bday song sang by a guy in Batman's Joker costume..
Uhmm spent almsot the entire afternoon texting n catching up with my BF :( i missed her.

But again.. like I said in posts before... most of these are things i experience mainly online..
ahaha the internet really is the home of a multimedia designer i guess?

Overall...
Its still not a bday celebration.. i mean.. its like things people do in normal days.
But the time i got to chat with people i dont normally chat with is worth it.. :)
and to just sit around at a police station with my friends in the middle of the night felt epic..
its like being in a music video! lol... mehh..
Still it could have been better..
To be honest I've always wanted to celebrate with a birthday party xD
But its always too much trouble to conduct..
+ i dont know who to invite.. mehhh.. so it never happens. ah ha..
But i'm used to it..

Every year my bday always has a sad side to it..
and at some point I'm tired of it.. its like fate..
I guess thats also a reason why I'm never really celebrating it.. heh..
Out of the 365 days i get in a year the day of my birth..
Has hardly ever been anything good .__.
its like the world is cursing the day i've been borned..
sigh!
But on a brighter note!
I still get to watch Snow white tis Saturday :)
and and.. uhmm i dunno wat else...
ahhh! i shall sleep...
There's nothing left for me to do now anyway~ lol

There's a danger

Its decided that after studies i'm going to KL to work and eventually move to Japan. Its no longer a dream or a vision or a goal.. ITS A FACT :)

I miss Ayuko. I admit that.. and i know i admit it alot.But its the truth. No one I've met in this world was as strong as she was..Or at least no one I know lived as cheerful and pure as she did..Moving to Japan was always been my goal..I've always wanted to go there..

So.. no i'm not going because i met her. I'm going because.. I believe that there's something more for me there.A future there.. what meeting her would make me do tho.. is donate to cancer charity..heh.. tho i'm not sure how much charity actually helps the needy..Its something I might do in the future..

The future.. a scary thought it is..
I've always thought I could have a bright future..But the journey towards it is really dull.. I'm tired, i need a big push.. or something.. anything.. Like a million dollar cheque, so i dont need to spend the 2years in KL and insta-migrate to Japan. lol..

I need the fresh start... I need that reset button.. :) and hopefully my plan is that button for me.And HOPEFULLY it wont set off a bomb in my life :|

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AFA MY 2012 is coming up...
that's.. Anime Festival Asia: Malaysia 2012

This year its held at KL.. last year it was at Singapore..

AND DANG! i wish i could go..

but i found out about it too late... LOL if not i'd save up money to fly over there... T_T

They have a Japanese maid cafe, butler cafe there..and and~ Anisong concerts by Kalafina, Aimi, Maon Kurosaki, FLOW, KOTOKO, Sea☆A

Mitsuhisa Ishikawa, the producer who made,

"Ghost In The Shell (攻殻機動隊)"

and "Blood: The Last Vampire"

will be giving a talk on his life and experiences .__.

I WANNA GO ! :(

as well as Tomohiko Ishii

from Studio Ghibli and the assistant producer for famous titles, such as"Spirited Away (千と千尋の神隠し)", "The Cat Returns (猫の恩返し)"and "Howl's Moving Castle (ハウルの動く城)". all the classics xD

There'll also be of course COSPLAY! even the GM.Bibi from Garena is gonna go there in her cosplay ._.

Arghh~ i wanna go.. T__T Anime fan.. but cant go.. sad case..

Hopefully! I'll be able to go next year!where ever it's gonna be held .__.!

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"But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and its sad when you know. It's your heart you cant trust."



Sometimes Love Just Aint Enough - Sun Yan Zi (孙燕姿)
Original song was by Patty Smyth back in the 90s.. but i prefer Sun Yan Zi's cover best..

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Dr.Seuss The Lorax

Last night well.. tis morning 2am. i couldnt sleep.. So I watched one of the movie i downloaded, Dr.Seuss The Lorax.Its a cute movie with great storyline.. :) I also like the quote from Dr.Seuss at the end..

"UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."

I love that quote.. cos its really true... people nowadays simply dont care about anything anymore. Me included. ahaha its sad .__. but i loved the movie.. its meaningful enough. And it gave me a 2nd fav quote by Dr.Seuss.. The first one of course being;

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."


Dont ever change who you are no matter what.. You're perfect... everyone is :)

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Reading your blog post now, makes me feel.. relieved. I used to have a crush on you a long time ago, well of course i did. why wouldnt I? You were always an amazing girl. Hahax~ but I knew I would never be good enough for you.. and I know I still am not.. But I'm glad that your life is looking out better. :) I may not be as 'holy' or on fire for God as i used to be after my lastest relationship.. And yet, I believe that God will still bless you and your family abundantly.

God bless :) 

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A blog is a place to express anything you want to..
and anything that you feel. Nothing others think would have to matter..
That's how my blog is.. you can think of me whatever way you want..
But it doesn't change the fact that.. It is a fraction of who I really am.. 
At least I dont lie to myself everyday and keep true to who I am ;)

Peace and Love my readers... :)