Wow!

Wwwwooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww~
Lol! lots of stories going around, woah~

:O Did i mention that Someone's GanGe, out of all this event,
suddenly contact me as if I'm his friend. SHIOK!
Anyway, hope he has a safe trip to Aussie. and hope he doesnt worry himself to death.
:X

That aside!
My life is going well.. normal. hmph!


!!BORING!!


BAM!
ah well~ nothing new really.
Checked out a whole bunch of Alternative rock bands (that are like Dashboard Confessional)
Disappointed! no nice bands.
pfft!
ah well! guess I'll wait for Simple Plan's newest album. and Blink182 album :O
and then this year Hillsong's Album Aftermath coming out. wooots! cant wait for that~
So anyway!
1 week since the event, and nothing new happened. fixed and mended and enclosed alot of friendships.
comforting the broken. and thats pretty much it..
I use to wonder why I care about others when they're hurt.
considering when I'm hurt not really anyone is there for me. :O
But I realized I did the same. so fixing lots of friendships.
Gomenasai~ *bow bow* I will be a better friend :)
I wanna take up Guitar soon :D kekeke! cant wait!
hmmmm,
and i think I'd be dancing more, cos it reallyyyyyy expresses my mood and it never hurts to try new moves... OKAY! so some moves hurt, but :) its fun.
So yeahh~
my new year resolution becoming more clear :O

Good Grades
Learn Guitar (wonder If i can find anyone to join me)
Dance (should I find a teacher :S)
Care for Others ( I LOVE YOU PEOPLE! :D)
Devote more time to God ( Needless To Say )
&
Just enjoy life to the fullest (All You People BEWARE! bwahahaha!)

no more hold backs or puppet strings. I'm Moving On. :)

Oh! and starting next semester I'ma change my whole clothing attire from t-shirt and jeans. to shirt and jeans :O I never liked shirts much... Collars! blueks... but I started liking them :)
hehe! (Thanks to Mariana's Trench's Lead Singer)

OH OH OH! Planning to get a tattoo! MAYBE!
On my right arm... A Tree! with the word "我" in the center. :)
My sister (not related sister, but really close! I mean share all the same likings and interest. If you exclude the she's living million miles away thing) anyway! she said that, It should look cool.. its like I'm branching out~ lol! I like her interpretation.. cos mine was like I wanna be as unmovable and strong as a tree. I would put "solid rock" but, rocks arent soo creative. LOL!
but still, it's just a plan.. cos I have no idea how much a tattoo would cost!

Oh! I'm now reading "House Of Night book 2: Betrayed" and its actually not bad..
Normally, series sometimes their 2nd book not as nice.. but this one keeps to its originality and cool story line. so me likey! :D

Movies! cant wait for Red Riding Hood!
and Pirates Of The Caribbean. and of course~ Breaking Dawn~ :)
oh I even feel like watching Green Lantern :O LOL!
Still have no freaking idea who to go with tho. Most probably drag random people I know. kekeke!

I started Bible Reading. ZOMG!
I'll admit I dont read the Bible much. :) but I'm starting.
LOL! by following those monthly bible reading paper thingy.
i dunno when I started, but I really like Reading nowadays :D hehe.
better than wasting my time playing online games.

Still~~ My life could me awhole lot more interesting. :\
Now it's just boring :O ah well! guess I just have to endure the boredom and wait!
kekeke~ college starting next week! woots! :D
CANT WAIT! YAY!
This year. 2011. I'm going to improve my life :)

in love!

I'm In Luvvvv~
that was fast! XD
i thought I'd never fall in love again! *COUGH!*


but then someone just haddddd to intro me to an awesome band!!!

Marianas Trench


ROFL! yesh in love, just not the I wanna be with someone kind of way. being lame. XD
their songs rock, brings a bunch of confidence to me :)

Thats the Lead Singer! Josh Ramsay~ :D

LOL! okok time to get serious!
but first!
THANKS XI'AN!!
I can reallyyyy relate to you! :B I wish you were my REAL sister.
or at least I wish that you didnt lived like a million miles away T.T

anyway! :)
My day! today.. I mean YESTERDAY! (1:58am :O ZOMG!)
So yeahhh~ Started the morning.

Woke up, facebook, and a bunch of lovie korean songs (BIGBANG + 2NE1 mostly).

my another Idol; SEUNGRI!!
from Bigbang :)

okok, just to be fair! for 2ne1 i like...

well duhh! SANDARA PARK of course! :B



lol ANYWAY!
Lunch, my mum said;
She thinks I'ma end up in Korea someday, even though I always seem to show interest to Japanese, she has a feeling tht I might end up in Korea.

Then I thought about it, then it might not be such a bad idea!
I Mean, It's KOREA! woahhh! LOL!
They're melodramatic, and i'm emo! I'll fit it :D LOL!
uhh.... uhhh~~~~! OH!

OK! BACK TO REALITY!
In the afternoon hanged with me mates :B
at the Cineplex down at Spring.
It was interesting, cos the memories did overtake me.
but then! I kinda sorta let go without knowing :O
anyway!
we watched "Gulliver's Travels"
(ZOMG 2x! JACK BLACK!)


okaye, so Jack Black, isnt that handsome-st guy in all the land.
But he's one heck of a singer. and he brings hope to all the los--- LOL!
I MEAN! Hopeful people out there :D
Cos most of the movies he acted in are like funny, and always starts with nothing and ending with everything he ever wanted.
I remember the first movie i watch him acted in;
The Pick Of Destiny (Awesome movie, check it out if you havent)



SO! Back To My Day!
hmmm.. The movie was GREAT, funny, and rather lame~
ROFL!
still! It was fun to just relax myself down from all the drama~

After that....
(OH! the movie rating 7.6/10 for me :O means it's gud enuf for a comedy. )
we went to get drinks at the food court. I wasnt thirsty so only they bought.
then we headed to one of the mate's house to hang awhile.
and then I got home :)

Had a short sms session with someone; getting to know her better. *cough!*
had dinner. went online.
gaming, chatting, found my new idol in Marianas Trench XDDD~ UHMM!
facebook~
and then animes!

KissXsis. wow~~~ before you say anything, I know the name sounds wrong, but...
ITS NOT "THOSE" TYPE OF ANIMES. I'm emo not a freako :O
Although It should be rated 18 & above ;) ROFL!
Anyway it's an interesting anime. watched till ep4.
theres only like 13eps, if i'm not wrong.

Then finished my download of Marianas Trench :D
Facebooked with friends,
got to know a person in college better too~
and had some short comments with people in PLKN
and my music sister ;D lol! always sharing vids.
Hmmm..
OVERALL!
Awesome Day :'D
I feel blessed to have all these people in my life!
*Pokes the people!*

With people like youuuuu, who needs relationships~
(not really sure if i mean that, but I mean it for today! :D)
I think that's it.
:) gonna go listen to my tunes, chat with my buddies and facebook awhile

PEACE

&

LOVE

So

So! today.
yeahh, Nothing really interesting.
hmm i found out I can talk to a certain person,
without going all emo and have a not so bad conversation with him.
I think he prefers me this way too. lol.
I guess I changed alot in just a couple of days..

.Happiness.

I am happy, I am sad, but i am happy :)
The happiness cannot compare with the happiness I had before.
and there is sadness when I that I've never felt before.
An emptiness now filled by the holy spirit.
So my spirit is joyous. and I have found my peace.
Although my heart still bleeds.
Things happen for a reason
And so, yeah. heh~ :)
I'm still not sure about my future.
no visions nor signs or anything yet.
So I hope everything I'm doing now is right for once.
cos It doesnt seem wrong at all.

LIFE IS JUST

FILLED WITH MYSTERIES

Sometimes I feel selfish for wanting more than what I got.
Cos Christ did sacrificed on the Cross for me.
But still the world is hard and cruel place. I'm sure He understands too.
cos I remember there was part in the Bible that says

If you suffer for doing good, you will be blessed. But if you suffer for doing bad, you dont deserve any reward.

So I suffered from doing bad. but from there I started doing good and still suffering.
So i think if continue on, I will be blessed :) yes? or no? o__o
hmm! tis a mystery! rofl!

Hard times

I want to change completely.
And to do so, it requires. lots and lots of Endurance.
I dont know when i will be able to let go completely.
It feels soo hard.
I accept that she's gone, and i may never get her back.
I dont even know what i'm holding on to.
SIGH!
anyway,
Next week college start. Hoping it'll keep me busy.
So i wont get influenced emotionally.
Then... If I still have too much free time, i'ma do more in church.
if still too much. I'ma take up Guitar.
If still too much~ I'm just gonna pray hard.
Cos although God set a future for me,
I dont have Guidance to take me to it.
I dont know what i'm suppose to do.
Maybe is shud goto the movies alone, like my friend said.
hmmm~
but... now i think about it... I dont wanna go alone.. lol.. too much memories.
Haiz.. I cant do anything rite now :(
I need to find something new to do...
Its not the memories are bad or anything.
actually... most of them are happy memories. :')
but I dont wanna risk getting affected negatively by overthinking.
I wonder when will this uneasy feeling stop...
it makes it really hard to concentrate on my life..
These memories are things we Human choose.
Living by them are like living with the world.
being hurt by them are like denying the existence of God,
whom is the healer of my broken heart.
not the brainwasher of my memories.
So will time cure this emotional uneasiness?
I believe yes... not cure it, but make me strong enough to face it.
yeah! I aint weak.. God is my strength :)
and in due time I will be able to walk again.
They wont be things i'd forget, but things i'll learn to live with.

things I wanna be thankful for would be;
being happy the whole of last year.
I know have to let go of her, but the memories I choose to learn to live with.
Although I was hurt deeply at the near end of 2010,
I shouldnt have done what i did..
I wish.. I never changed lanes..
I should've stayed with God through out the previous year and last.
I wish the desires I wanted didnt cloud my judgement..
but it's too late now.
& yeah i learnt my lesson..
I thought about it this whole entire event and outcome..
And I wanted to quit on love..
but then, that's childish... to quit on something i believe in;
just because I was hurt.
It's life, it's suppose to hurt.
Things I regret can never be erase.
I guess this is how a first true true love breakup feels like.
it hurts. but i'll be stronger from it.
i needed to change this year anyway..
this shouldnt change anything.
it affects my plans.
But if she wasnt happy i shouldnt have been soo desperate.
I was too emotionally imbalanced and too naive to love her the way I should have.
Haizz~ you live and you learn eh?
Anyway! I will love and care for everyone around me. :)
Because, I am blessed to have people around me when I needed them.
Although it was wrong for me to seek people instead of God..
I think that's the big lesson i learnt from this.
Depending on God and not anyone else.
Cos no one can really heal me the way I needed to be healed.
and no one can strengthen me or reassure me like God can.

You know what? maybe I will goto the cinemas alone sometime.
Yeah, with God by my side. who else would I need eh?
And what better way to conquer the fear and pain than by facing it head on?
YEAH!
I was never one to have fear, hesitations or regrets.
nothing should change that~ and never will :D~
Oh cool! I feel better. hehe~

I'm thankful to have her be my first true love. if not i wouldnt have changed for the better :')

Current Song:
We The Redeemed - Hillsongs

Verse 1:
There is nothing like Your love
No exchange for all You gave
To be welcomed into life
So I can know the love that saves

Verse 2:
Now forever to belong
To walk with You for all my days
Theres no greater love than this
You are the Author and the Way

Pre-Chorus:
This is the sound of the redeemed
Rising up to praise the King
Our hope is in You
This is the sound of the redeemed
Rising up to praise the King

Chorus:
Singing glorious glorious One You have saved us
Honor and Power and Praise to the Savior.

You are the Answer You are the Answer

Verse 3:
You come with power come with fire
As we lift Your name on high
And join with all the saints to sing
In bringing Honor to the King.

Pre-Chorus + Chorus

Pre-Chorus + Chorus

Bridge:
We the redeemed
Hear us singing
You are Holy
You are Holy

I let go..

Knowledge is power! - Pastor Kong Hee

I know alotttt of people use that quote, but i like Pastor Kong's one. LOL!

Cos having Knowledge you obtain understanding, and from understanding you obtain wisdom.

and all that adds up to Intelligence :D

It took awhile, but theres improvement. :)
I finally understand why things happen the way it did.
hah! I found knowledge in the bible! and gotten my understanding!
Wisdom uhhh not that i can think of for now.. anyway!
So everything happened to me..
So i can actually finally accept myself and grow up and let go and forgive and well you get the picture..
Although It was a painful week~ It doesnt hurt as much anymore.
I think i finally accept it. :D
There are things I regret, and thank you-s I cannot say.
I pray for God bless those that I wish to thank!!! :) *say amen!*
Its a longgggg way to go for me to change my life.
But it's a new year, and since all things are possible.
i guess, Even someone as Emotional as I can find my right path.
I believe in it! Cos I ROCK! rofl! :) and I will endure it~ ♥
Whatever the future holds, I will hold onto God to lead me through it.
I still have my desires of course, so I'll always pray on those to be part of my future too.
For now, only time will clear my blurred future~
(unless i get some vision or dream tonight @.@)
I HAVE FOUND MY PEACE! yay! :')
And I still can become stronger, I guess time alone isnt that bad.
Especially when i spend it conquering my past and fears, and building myself up.

1 Peter 2: 4-5
" ⁴ As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him— ⁵ you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house"

Thats for the line i used earlier; Building myself up.
:D like living stones
Anyway..
"What doesnt kill us makes us stronger."
I was the one who was wrong, and i blamed others along with my past..
I just really hope the wrongs i did would someday be forgiven.
I know God forgives me :) but i feel guilty about those I have wronged.
Or maybe~ someday i can find the strength to fix it myself.
Yeah, I should. to connect the gaps in the relations I've destroyed.
Ah well, thats for another time.
Gotta improve myself first.
Next week college starts. :) cant wait..
church saturday!~ cant wait!
and the rest of the week~
I'll hold myself out :) and improveeee more ♥
and i think i'm gonna take up guitar lessons soon too~ ♥
I'm not happy i lost her due to my choice in the (bad) emotional path.
But it was what she did that made me strong. So like the bible said;
"I will bless those who blesses you."
And I hope you'll be bless abundantly.









You will never know how great of a gift you have given me.:')
.I.really.wish.i.could.thank.you.somehow.

Mine

My blog is my reassurance to myself :)
When I'm weak He makes me strong.
If i am weak, its like i'm sinning against God.
I know I need to learn to accept the circumstances.
In order to grow up and mature..
And I will.. It's what i want to do too..
I will change, I will accept and I will overcome.
I have an aim.. but i have no plan..
I need this, soo badly..
I've been trying everything...
But i did all that to forget, not accept...
I keep getting influenced by little things.
But I wont anymore. No more.
I accept my past and my present..
There is nothing left. And that's okay.. yeah..
That's okay! I'm still alive!
I've been lying to myself, I should stop..
It hurts.. but I just have to accept it..
I will be able to get through this.
What ever my future holds, is a plan by God.
I shouldnt doubt Him..
Still trying.. But i'll be okay,
Cos You Hold Me Now.. :')

No weeping, no hurt or pain.
No Suffering; You hold me now.

This is something i need to get through myself. & I will.
I will believe in myself, I am perfectly and wonderfully made after all. :)
God bless me..

Current Song:

You Hold Me Now - Hillsongs

VERSE 1:
On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace
All my fears swept away
In the light of Your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free

PRE CHORUS 1:
Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone

CHORUS:
No weeping no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now
You hold me now

VERSE 2:
In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your Name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day

PRE CHORUS 2:
Where the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone

BRIDGE:
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your Name

There For Me

Lyrics by: Aaron Yeo (Cybex)
Dedicated to the one that never left my side :)

Thank you!~ XD

There For Me

Verse 1:
You were there for me, when everyone was gone.
You were there for me, when everything was wrong.
You've saved me, from the depression of my soul.
You have changed me, to be a better me.

Chorus:
When I needed You, You were there for me.
When I cried, You heard my plea.
When I was down, You held me tight.
& Helped Me Through My darkest night.
You were there for me.

When I needed You, You were there for me.
When I cried, You heard my plea.
When I was down, You held me tight.
& Helped Me Through My darkest night.
You were there for me.

Verse 2:
You were there for me, when all that's left was pain.
You were there for me, even when I wasnt at my best.
You've saved me, from the disappointment of my life.
You have changed me. to be a better me.

Chorus:
When I needed You, You were there for me.
When I cried, You heard my plea.
When I was down, You held me tight.
& Helped Me Through My darkest night.

When I needed You, You were there for me.
When I cried, You heard my plea.
When I was down, You held me tight.
& Helped Me Through My darkest night.
You were there... You were right there, for me..

Bridge:
And when the time drove me out of line,
When I was drowning in my sorrow,
you held my hand and you pulled me out,
then you held me, then you held me..

Chorus:
When I needed You, You were there for me.
When I cried, You heard my plea.
When I was down, You held me tight.
& Helped Me Through My darkest night.

When I needed You, You were there for me.
When I cried, You heard my plea.
When I was down, You held me tight.
& Helped Me Through My darkest night.
You were there for me.

You Saved Me.

Devotion

Dear God,
I am a sinner. I know I've left you.
I know I've sin against those who seek only good of me.
I know my pride is higher than my love for you.
I beg for your mercy and forgiveness.
For your embrace is my refuge.
Your arms are the walls that protect me.
The words i've cursed, the wrongs I've done.
I lay before you. You gave your son for me.
And I have left your presence for that of the world.
I know now my sins.
I know I greed for more than what has been given me.
I know the dream you've set in me,
But i left you, and now i am wounded.
I humble myself to you now, My king.
Bless those who i have wronged.
Forgive me of my treason.
I beg in your presence, oh father.
Let me return to thee,
Oh lord, I know i deserve not your mercy.
Your everlasting love and gentle heart.
You paid every price for me, all that i cant repay.
Let me be yours now, I will not wrong You again. father...
I will not wrong you again.
In the name of Jesus Christ,
I submit and devote myself to you with this prayer.
In Jesus's name I pray... Amen..

Forgiveness

I apologize for my behavior dear readers :)
each and everyone of you.
I guess i was just taken into the moment. I know my wrongs.

and to those who were being critical about it~ ahem!
I forgive you. :) even those of you who arent sorry. ahem ahem~ LOL!

that is all.

James 4 : 17
"Anyone, then, who knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, commit sins."

current song:
It's Your Love - Hillsongs


Verse 1:
Upon the hill on Calvary
He came from Heaven's throne
Our fallenness and mercy meet
Where blood and water flow

Verse 2:
What grace divine what selflessness
That Christ would bear the weight
Our proof is scarred on hands that bled
That we were worth every nail

Chorus:
And all the praise and glory to God
We sing Hallelujah sing Hallelujah
For the King has carried the cross
He is risen from the grave

Verse 3:
Beyond the tomb to holy skies
He rose in victory
And bridged for us the great divide
His life is our liberty

Chorus x2

Bridge:
Your love
It's Your love
It's Your love
That has saved me

Your blood
It's Your blood
It's Your blood
That has claimed me

Bridge:
Oh-Oh-oh
Woah Woah
(Repeat bridge x3)