Memories

I've got a competition in an hour's time.. :\
Not sure if me and my team can win it or not tho.. sigh~
anyway just blogging before I leave.

I was pretty much reminiscing about the past last night.
And how some things I didn't take advantage of until it was too late.
You know the feeling where an opportunity comes and you didn't take it and finally you regret it?
yeah.. that's the feeling I get, along with wondering what could have come of it if I did or would it had change anything at all..
Or rather why didn't I take the chance. The most common and logical explanation would be because I was still young and didn't know what to do at the time.
ahahaha... not that age really matters in anything :S



I wish I could tell you these feelings of mine,
But time has already drifted us very far apart.
And I'm sure no good will come out of the words I wish to say.

What ever the case, the past cannot be change.
Which is why these memories are ones I wish to have forgotten.
I guess that's one of the reasons why I want to leave here more and more badly.
The more I stay, the more memories I create, the more painful it is to stay.
I wanna leave, forget everything, start a new..

This life, as nice and peaceful as it maybe..
Isn't what I want for myself..
I want something more.. I need something more..



"I cant change history, but history is what's changin' me"

So.. leaving for Japan in the coming years is what I've plan to do..
ahahahax..

Broken Wings

Its been awhile since my last post..
A lot has happened in the pass few weeks..
exactly 1 week ago.. last friday.


Ayuko has passed away.
I got to chat to her a final time a week before she left.
I feel bad that I couldn't be there for her.
but this isn't a fairytale and i cant just magically appear to her.
But she knew that, and she didn't expected me to.
Our last moments in chatting was really full of love and sincerity.
I wish it could've last longer..
I wish things didn't end the way it did..
At the end of it all, this fate couldn't be changed.
I accepted that fact..
For those of you who dont know,
she was suffering from cancer since young..
and it finally caught up to her.

Although I miss her..
I'm glad that she was happy during her final hours.
and the way she is really touched me..
Everything happens for a reason..
I really fell in love with her..
Although it lasted a month+, we really connected.
she was a really amazing person, and will forever hold that special place in my heart.
:| I really miss you...

Aha.. her words that would forever say with me are;
"You will always be an angel in my fairytale ne, And i feel this way give a fairytale more beautiful ending than painful one . ."

Rest In Peace..




I guess that's been the highlight of my entire month.. heh..
The rest are all assignments,
I've been super busy with my assignments,
constantly going out with my coursemates to finish them..
at that time Ayu was already at the hospital..
but i managed quite well.. finished all my assignments,
even with everything going on..
I guess being around friends helped me through it easier..
I dont regret ever meeting her..
And this doesn't affect my plan to go Japan in the near future in anyway..
In fact.. it made me want to go there even more..
Although it isn't what i expected as a first date..
I would love to visit the town she grew up in..
heh.. :\ ahh~
I dont know what more to write..
I'm sick due to lack of sleep.. and everything..
so thats it for now...
will post a more detailed update on my life on later days.

For now..
Thanks for reading ^^