woots!

Had full day today! :D ahahahax.

Well first, my bro came back yesterday afternoon :)
so I skipped CG last night, to have a family dinner and stuff.
lol..
today morning i had class..
Fundamental Of Graphic Design.
Ah! Final Assignment Out.
need to DRAW a map of kuching, in a 3D form. wtf?!
how can u draw a map in 3D ?
that seems almost impossible and worst! It's on A1 size!
(thats the size of 8 pieces of A4 all together) D:
what's more yesterday history of arts assignment out too.
The lecturer said we would have to
1. find and write a report on the selected artist (he will give each and everyone of us 1)
2. draw an artwork in that artist's art style (he will tell us how big the size shud be next week)
Well first, i HOPE i wont end up with a Pointillism artist :x
This is Pointillism. (art work done with dots!)

And if worse-case-scenario, i get an artist like that, I hope the artwork doesnt have to be done in some supersized paper D:
mehh! horror!
the lecturer is such a bully :(

next!
after class today,
went to Spring with family~~
Kimbay for lunch
(Roast duck rice, yumm yumm~ and Purple Dream (ribena,sprite float)
ahahax and then went to walk walk around spring.
and ended up watching Dylan Dog: Dead of night
it wasnt that bad really.

actually, its quite nice. ahahax 7.8/10 for me tho.
cos starting it was like in the narrator form, which is like a total turn-off
u know like those classic Private Investigator story.
which of course is very cliche, since he IS a PI.
still.. if i'm not wrong, the movie takes place after the whole graphic novel stories.
Cos its like he retired from the undead stuff and then reactive in it.
why? check out the movie to find out.
x) its a B rated movie. so all in all 7.8 is high enough for it xD

hahax. then walk walk. then went for guitar class, cos last week canceled.
going to that again tis sat. Feng drove me home, talked and stuff.
so yeah! overall it was an okay day :) ahahax

Reality recheck!

last night i had another weird dream. MM, VV & LL was in it. Lol. with JJ~ LOL! its soo cute to call them like dat. ahahax my gang was in it too. jing, feng, ric. etc. etc. it was like some big party. everyone was there. ahahax.
it was actually quite lame. until time-stopped.

and the world fell apart.
and i was the only one left in the room.
then some weird demonic ninja samurai thing appeared.
and then my eyes turned red.
uhhh yeah! it was a mess.
another one of those dimension thingy thing.
then i woke up (in the dream) and was actually asleep at the restaurant table.
LOL! uhhh~ then after eating everyone was leavin. talked to MM awhile.
while VV teased. and then they went into JJ's car. LOL! Tis was weirdddd.

and thennn~ uhhh. wat else..
ohh~~~ I was with my friends walking to their car. when again the world collapse.
and then i suddenly appeared at a mountain top with one of those cable car above me
(cable car? genting ah? LOL! )
then again that thing poped out and it chased me for awhile, then i was pushed off the mountain.
aiks then i woke up... LOL! epic weird-ness xP

Let it stop~

♥♥♥~ I'd rather be anywhere else, anywhere else, anywhere else but here ~♥♥♥


To celebrate the release of Simple Plan's latest album ; "Get Your Heart On"


I have changed my blog song to one of my fav song from the album (well actually i like all the songs in the album LOL!) so~ la la da da da~
I'd rather be anywhere else but here! :(
in college now, and i'm blogging? LOL!
so i havent really been blogging about my recent events.
actually on the 16th june went out with the gang to celebrate Jing's bday
till 11++ LOL! yeah.
and this sunday am goin to Kbox n steamboat wit the gang too :)



Anyway thats it for my fun-ness..
other days i'm just busy with assignments, but i still havent really done any :x
sigh! stress! :( I'm getting tired of this. i need a reason to workhard.
uhmm~ yeah! soo touched my sis; MM posted my name on her blog, awww. LOL!
she's havin SP fever too xD woots! Power to Punk Rock! :B
anyway her blog be talkin about how teenagers shudnt be dating and stuff.
lol. I guess for me, I'm really tired of Love too.
But i guess my past relationships taught me that I'm either not good enough for the person, or that the person would not be good enough to accept me.
so all in all, any lovelife now would pretty much end in tragedy too.
still~ I'm crushin harder n harder over someone..
ahahahax! tho i dont plan to actually tell her or anything xP
I'm such a contradiction to myself!
But for me, I've never been someone who would put anything more important than a relationship.
So i really feel uneasy when i'm like, well.. single.




ahahax, yes dear sis, Lingsan, Love DOES Define Me.
And its not the friendship kind of love that defines me too.
So yeahh.. I'm the kind of person who would throw it all away for love.
I remember being insulted for being too irrational for being that way tho :B
ahahax, i just dont believe any love can be a lie.
Love can either be true or not love at all.
Of course I guess I've been through alot and my thinking about it changed.
ahahax still single life is... okay..
LOL i spending on all the random things in life and friends.
Still.. i miss having someone close to really just talk to, hang with, and just be there for me.
sigh~~
Ahahax. ;) Oh well~~


♥♥♥~ I'm The Loser Of The Year ~♥♥♥ - Simple Plan



Anyway...
i feel sad after listening to Gone Too Soon by Simple Plan :(
ahh~ it reminds me of my bro soo much T.T
uhmm~ yeahhh..


hmmmm~ I dunno what i'm doing really. I'm just kinda messed up. ahahax
thats all i guess.




♥ Love & (v) Peace

Have I been forsaken?

So.. Everyone has their own takes in life.
There are those who find it fitting to be just within the comfort of friends, and those who find solace in the realm of solitude. People who gets lost in their own worlds of books & studies, People who hides away in cyberspace. Hobbyist who takes up hobbies just to cure their emptiness. Oh how we mortals get rooted into this wonderfully materialized world~
TRAGIC~ & a wee bit dramatic.
But what of me? what of me.
Depression has consumed me time n time again.
I may not be crazy enough to cut my own ear off and send it to a lover (Artist, Van Gogh)
nor will i hide in a broken down house away from the world writing poetry (Poet, Edgar Ellen Poe)
No.. I choose to remain here. Altho I'm not seen as much.
And I may possibly just seem like a Ghost to the people around me.
I remain.. here... in silence.
I'm appreciated; Not.
I'm loved; Not.
I'm Walking, Talking, Breathing, But Am I Alive?

years of solitude and rejection has caused me a hole in my chest.
an emptiness.. a gap that nothing in this world can ever fill!
I have tried over and over. In every single possibly way to fill it.
But it remains... the hole remains.
is love what i'm after? is happiness what i need?
is a companion all i want? is life worth living.... ?

no no no no no NONONONONO!!?!

no... I've waited, I've ran, I've fallen, I've practiced, I've trained, I've cried, I've died, I've been revived. I've been broken, I've been fixed, I've been ill, I've been healed, But still this emptiness remains.
Years and years this emptiness remains.
A depression that I cant seem to break.
why why why why WHY?!
Life is not unfair, in fact, my life is getting better and better.
I get blessed almost daily, I have every reason to be happy.
I've had probably a life with a lot more experiences than others.
but still... still...
I cant find what i'm looking for..
Is there nothing to fill this gap?
Is this world soo limited that a hole cannot be filled?

ahahax..
..

I wanna be loved. I wanna be appreciated, I wanna be noticed.
I wanna... be... Happy...
tired of being alone, tired of trying, tired..
oh soo tired...
If there is truly nothing for me in this world..
I really dont know why I'm still going..
will waiting really be all I'm suppose to do?
I'm really sick of it. soo sick... of waiting.
I dont even know what i'm waiting for..

and if y'all think this is Emotional, than F U .
Cos its my blog and its suppose to be personal.
If u wanna judge than say it to my face, dont gossip!

ahahax...
Torment..Sacrifice..God..Love..Life..Earth..World..Relationship..Friendship..Depression..Self-harm..Myself..You..Everyone..Hate..Disappointment..Unreliable..Insecure..Unsafe.....Broken... Dead... Empty...

Why'd you have to leave me falling down this bottomless pit? I'm an angel, I'm suppose to sore in the skies, free, with no chains, no limits.. Not falling with burned off wings and broken bones..



.:FORSAKEN:.