Memories..
This post is just a shard of the past I wish to record.
They haunt my thoughts and i guess writing it out would be better.. maybe
Lately I feel like i've been distant...
like extremely far away from everyone i use to know.
But i remember them, i remember each and every one of them very well..
And to think most things that happen in my life is due to the internet. ahaha
I remember when i was like 11, when i first got on the social site: Neopets.
That's where I learnt most of the stuff i know now..
I remember meeting Evenex, a japanese girl living in the NZ..
her and her friends in the anime guild, taught me soo much on animes.. :|
then at the neopets message board i met,
Jeanjadeonguitar whose a very awesome girl from the UK.
she was also kinda like my first girlfriend, lol if it actually counts.. not really sure since I was still kinda too young to understand much.. but there were a lot of drama and with the hacking of her account, we were left with no communication.. tho somehow i wish i could still contact her.. :\
I also met Annaangel, a girl from australia who was really upbeat and energetic. fun girl to chat with.. lost contact with her long time ago tho..
like extremely far away from everyone i use to know.
But i remember them, i remember each and every one of them very well..
And to think most things that happen in my life is due to the internet. ahaha
I remember when i was like 11, when i first got on the social site: Neopets.
That's where I learnt most of the stuff i know now..
I remember meeting Evenex, a japanese girl living in the NZ..
her and her friends in the anime guild, taught me soo much on animes.. :|
then at the neopets message board i met,
Jeanjadeonguitar whose a very awesome girl from the UK.
she was also kinda like my first girlfriend, lol if it actually counts.. not really sure since I was still kinda too young to understand much.. but there were a lot of drama and with the hacking of her account, we were left with no communication.. tho somehow i wish i could still contact her.. :\
I also met Annaangel, a girl from australia who was really upbeat and energetic. fun girl to chat with.. lost contact with her long time ago tho..
I also met Meg and Melia who were also australian.. both ended up being my foster sisters. lol! they're both amazing girls actually. :) but dont contact them anymore.
Case was an american who was into the whole emo stuff.. and also into Roleplaying. she was the one who taught me how to write n roleplay in the forums and roleplaying boards... a few months after meeting her, she lost her life to pressure and personal problems .__.
mikilove who was a fan of everything japanese and from m'sia as well.. she was actually my first real foster big sis :) she taught me loads..
got on friendster. then i met mikilove's friend Aaveli, whose a very creative gal who know stuff like art and photoshop and stuff...
that was during my teenage time, i got into the whole emo, dark, goth phase of life.
I also met Zoe, off friendster if i'm not mistaken. m'sian, and also a fellow blogger. ahaha :) she became one of my best friends even though we never chat much. she's still an awesome person! :D
and also Lynnds, m'sian. :) i love how she send my a postcard and a keychain! (though the keychain was stolen by the postman :\ ) but its the thought that counts! and she's just a truly amazing person! she's also another person who's been one of my close friends for a long time... that we pretty much havent been contacting lately :(
I got a youtube account met, Kyuuka, who taught/show the basic of anime music video editing.
Eventually all this got me into the whole Visual Kei (japanese rock) love~
Got into gaming, animes, video editing, music and pretty much just isolating myself from the whole world..
Played auditionSEA met an awesome Singaporean girl on there, Wen. who was in polytechnic at the time and does 3D design and stuff :) I still have the christmas postcard she send to me... along with the @cash clothes she gave on my bday on Audition.. ahaha! ahh~ stuff like these make me feel so old now! :| we stopped contacting a long time ago too..
That was when i was a teenager, i din have any real friends in real life.. lol..
mostly just online...
I then met Adel , my brother's friend's sister through.
who was the same age as me, and became my best friend, she's the only one i think that still contacts me just as much as she did back then.
I met her friend kiwi, who eventually i got into a relationship with..
but then after a while we just broke apart..
Case was an american who was into the whole emo stuff.. and also into Roleplaying. she was the one who taught me how to write n roleplay in the forums and roleplaying boards... a few months after meeting her, she lost her life to pressure and personal problems .__.
mikilove who was a fan of everything japanese and from m'sia as well.. she was actually my first real foster big sis :) she taught me loads..
got on friendster. then i met mikilove's friend Aaveli, whose a very creative gal who know stuff like art and photoshop and stuff...
that was during my teenage time, i got into the whole emo, dark, goth phase of life.
I also met Zoe, off friendster if i'm not mistaken. m'sian, and also a fellow blogger. ahaha :) she became one of my best friends even though we never chat much. she's still an awesome person! :D
and also Lynnds, m'sian. :) i love how she send my a postcard and a keychain! (though the keychain was stolen by the postman :\ ) but its the thought that counts! and she's just a truly amazing person! she's also another person who's been one of my close friends for a long time... that we pretty much havent been contacting lately :(
I got a youtube account met, Kyuuka, who taught/show the basic of anime music video editing.
Eventually all this got me into the whole Visual Kei (japanese rock) love~
Got into gaming, animes, video editing, music and pretty much just isolating myself from the whole world..
Played auditionSEA met an awesome Singaporean girl on there, Wen. who was in polytechnic at the time and does 3D design and stuff :) I still have the christmas postcard she send to me... along with the @cash clothes she gave on my bday on Audition.. ahaha! ahh~ stuff like these make me feel so old now! :| we stopped contacting a long time ago too..
That was when i was a teenager, i din have any real friends in real life.. lol..
mostly just online...
I then met Adel , my brother's friend's sister through.
who was the same age as me, and became my best friend, she's the only one i think that still contacts me just as much as she did back then.
I met her friend kiwi, who eventually i got into a relationship with..
but then after a while we just broke apart..
I was having my family problem at that time too.. and i was still very emotional. so yeahhhh..
We contact less n less and now we barely even contact at all..
my 2nd real life girlfriend was TCH, she was an amazing girl, into anime drawing.. I adored her, i admired her.. a relationship bought off by chocolates and a manga book.
but we were young, and things ended worse than bad..
only recently we started contacting again... abit at least.
When i was 16.. it was also then that i made my group of friends of which i still hang out with right now.
actually, tats when i met my bestfriend too. my Blurfriend.
i didnt know she would become my bestie at all at first..
She's like totally awesome and retro. Vintage even. Our friendship was actually kinda up and down in its own way, and sorta weird but still interesting at the time xD She's the kind of girl whose into Sepia photos, rainbow umbrellas, cute things, dresses, high heels, sweets and is somewhat blur yet very understanding. But all in all, she is an amazing girl.. and remains as my first real best friend in real life. :) Although we dont actually contact much anymore... the time we did, is worth more than anything.
ahaha! u're awesome BF! ;)
I also met a girl from the afternoon session who uses the same class i use in the morning session in secondary school... surprisingly JessieL, use to goto the same tuition as me as well as the primary and secondary school, we started contacting cos we shared the same table in the morning n afternoon session. we would actually vandalize the school table with our artworks to communicate with one another. x) it was a fun experience and one i really miss!! we ended up being the best of foster siblings and altho life as drifted her across the sea for studies, we still remain close friends
I got into my 3rd real relationship when i was 17...
it was probably the best year of my life.. ahaha.. the entire up and down process was tiresome, stressful, rewarding and overall amazing.
I dont know how to put it.. it was just a great experience to have, despite the bad ending :\ uhmm din contact for a while after the whole thing..
there are also the people i meet in church of which i truly care, admire, lookup to and adore. the ones that really boosted my confidence in life. although I might have overstep my boundary most of the time, I'm grateful to have had the chance to spend those moments of my life with them.
It was fun, and the memories will forever remain pure...
I stopped contacting with them as well..
actually after that breakup I became more distant with the people around me even more..
I met Destiny online as well, she was a very energetic, cute girl, whose always misunderstood or taken advantage of. or at least from my view. she became one of my best friends tho! I dont know how that happened but yeah. she's into gaming and anime and now deciding to join cosplay club or not? ue shud definitely go for it! ahahaha.. she's still one of my best friend now and actually still keeps in contact :D
I met JiaCheng ( i dunno how to pinyin properly ) ahaha.. another amazing girl. who although is only younger than me by 3months calls me big bro. from Sabah~ :D and currently works at Singapore. I dont really know her that well.. but I can tell that she's a strong girl who can do whatever she wants to ^^
I met Zianne on fb. :) one of my best friend at the time. into the whole cosplay, anime, emogoth, jrock fandom! :D totally awesome.. at the time she was like a complete role model to me .__. ahaha just awesome.. although... we seem to be contacting less and less... cant be helped i guess..
I also met Momo, a girl who was suffering from depression at Japan.
a cute and creative little girl, whose been through more than the average people. a person who could've become more sinister and dark than i use to be. o__o but i'm glad throughout the time we chat, she was able to get better in time.. and have a happy life now? :) one of my fav person, even tho we dont contact much anymore. :(
Sora added me on fb via the random friend finder thingy.. he was an interesting person. and also the 4th Japanese i met online ahahax~ a very good looking guy with great personality. actually i think all japanese have great personality o__o or at least the ones thats got internet.. heh..
and to find that he actually know Zianne, was interesting.. its like fate.
Sora's sister Ayuko added me on fb soon after, we would then become friends and chat about actually..
anything and everything. she was an easy person to talk to.. we got into a long distant relationship, at the time i guess i didn't know what i was getting myself into, but it was also like nothing could feel more like destiny than that moment... I admired her. she was adventurous, kind, innocent, loving and just strong. a person who lived life to the fullest with no regrets. Her personality were traits I always
We contact less n less and now we barely even contact at all..
my 2nd real life girlfriend was TCH, she was an amazing girl, into anime drawing.. I adored her, i admired her.. a relationship bought off by chocolates and a manga book.
but we were young, and things ended worse than bad..
only recently we started contacting again... abit at least.
When i was 16.. it was also then that i made my group of friends of which i still hang out with right now.
actually, tats when i met my bestfriend too. my Blurfriend.
i didnt know she would become my bestie at all at first..
She's like totally awesome and retro. Vintage even. Our friendship was actually kinda up and down in its own way, and sorta weird but still interesting at the time xD She's the kind of girl whose into Sepia photos, rainbow umbrellas, cute things, dresses, high heels, sweets and is somewhat blur yet very understanding. But all in all, she is an amazing girl.. and remains as my first real best friend in real life. :) Although we dont actually contact much anymore... the time we did, is worth more than anything.
ahaha! u're awesome BF! ;)
I also met a girl from the afternoon session who uses the same class i use in the morning session in secondary school... surprisingly JessieL, use to goto the same tuition as me as well as the primary and secondary school, we started contacting cos we shared the same table in the morning n afternoon session. we would actually vandalize the school table with our artworks to communicate with one another. x) it was a fun experience and one i really miss!! we ended up being the best of foster siblings and altho life as drifted her across the sea for studies, we still remain close friends
I got into my 3rd real relationship when i was 17...
it was probably the best year of my life.. ahaha.. the entire up and down process was tiresome, stressful, rewarding and overall amazing.
I dont know how to put it.. it was just a great experience to have, despite the bad ending :\ uhmm din contact for a while after the whole thing..
there are also the people i meet in church of which i truly care, admire, lookup to and adore. the ones that really boosted my confidence in life. although I might have overstep my boundary most of the time, I'm grateful to have had the chance to spend those moments of my life with them.
It was fun, and the memories will forever remain pure...
I stopped contacting with them as well..
actually after that breakup I became more distant with the people around me even more..
I met Destiny online as well, she was a very energetic, cute girl, whose always misunderstood or taken advantage of. or at least from my view. she became one of my best friends tho! I dont know how that happened but yeah. she's into gaming and anime and now deciding to join cosplay club or not? ue shud definitely go for it! ahahaha.. she's still one of my best friend now and actually still keeps in contact :D
I met JiaCheng ( i dunno how to pinyin properly ) ahaha.. another amazing girl. who although is only younger than me by 3months calls me big bro. from Sabah~ :D and currently works at Singapore. I dont really know her that well.. but I can tell that she's a strong girl who can do whatever she wants to ^^
I met Zianne on fb. :) one of my best friend at the time. into the whole cosplay, anime, emogoth, jrock fandom! :D totally awesome.. at the time she was like a complete role model to me .__. ahaha just awesome.. although... we seem to be contacting less and less... cant be helped i guess..
I also met Momo, a girl who was suffering from depression at Japan.
a cute and creative little girl, whose been through more than the average people. a person who could've become more sinister and dark than i use to be. o__o but i'm glad throughout the time we chat, she was able to get better in time.. and have a happy life now? :) one of my fav person, even tho we dont contact much anymore. :(
Sora added me on fb via the random friend finder thingy.. he was an interesting person. and also the 4th Japanese i met online ahahax~ a very good looking guy with great personality. actually i think all japanese have great personality o__o or at least the ones thats got internet.. heh..
and to find that he actually know Zianne, was interesting.. its like fate.
Sora's sister Ayuko added me on fb soon after, we would then become friends and chat about actually..
anything and everything. she was an easy person to talk to.. we got into a long distant relationship, at the time i guess i didn't know what i was getting myself into, but it was also like nothing could feel more like destiny than that moment... I admired her. she was adventurous, kind, innocent, loving and just strong. a person who lived life to the fullest with no regrets. Her personality were traits I always
admired. she was everything I had been looking for. :) and to have met her was just amazing.
but after Ayuko's passing.. I just drew myself even more further away from the people around me.
I always.. ALWAYS keep myself away from the people around me when i feel horrible. I dont know why, its just the way i am i guess... or maybe its just something life taught me.
But one thing i do know is.. although I dont stay in contact with everyone as much anymore, doesnt mean I forget about them.. there are actually alot of people that isn't mentioned here..
Actually the people mentioned here are mostly only the friends i met through the internet and caused a huge impact in my life even if in just a small way.
I do know one thing, I love music, and thats the one thing that every one on this post have in common.. ahahax everyone has more or less the same taste in music i like~ :)
I love my friends, each and every one of them.
I love my life, although there are parts i wish i could change.... but its still life..
And when the time comes, I will leave this country and find myself a new life to lead fully..
I dont know where, when or how..
But I believe there are greater things for me out in the world.
which is why.. in a way i dont get too close to the people around me..
I dont want to have to feel regret when I'm leaving this place..
I dont want to have to feel like i have a reason to stay.
I just want to leave it all behind and start a new life...
Its hard to understand, I'm hard to understand. I dont even understand myself.
But I know that, everything happens for a reason. Although sometimes the way it happens seems completely wrong or just completely in-comprehensive but thats just the way it is..
I understand now.. and its with this post, i lay my memories here..
forever safe kept within my blog domain and to never haunt my nights again.
At some point i guess i still wish i could spend time with everyone..
Singing through the phone, Dancing on an online game, Walking from Star cineplex to 3rd mile, drinking chocolate milkshake at our hangout, shopping for gives, sharing icecream at the local icecream store, walking under the pouring rain, storytelling on a forum/board, writing back to back storyblogs, exchanging artwork through vandalism, communicating through music, art and pictures.. etc. etc. etc...
ahh~ i miss it~ But then.. i guess that's why they are special to me..
Cos they are memories with certain people at a certain time that will make me remember them forever. :)
I am a multimedia artist, i work online and with my computer.
And the internet. is my domain~ :B
but after Ayuko's passing.. I just drew myself even more further away from the people around me.
I always.. ALWAYS keep myself away from the people around me when i feel horrible. I dont know why, its just the way i am i guess... or maybe its just something life taught me.
But one thing i do know is.. although I dont stay in contact with everyone as much anymore, doesnt mean I forget about them.. there are actually alot of people that isn't mentioned here..
Actually the people mentioned here are mostly only the friends i met through the internet and caused a huge impact in my life even if in just a small way.
I do know one thing, I love music, and thats the one thing that every one on this post have in common.. ahahax everyone has more or less the same taste in music i like~ :)
I love my friends, each and every one of them.
I love my life, although there are parts i wish i could change.... but its still life..
And when the time comes, I will leave this country and find myself a new life to lead fully..
I dont know where, when or how..
But I believe there are greater things for me out in the world.
which is why.. in a way i dont get too close to the people around me..
I dont want to have to feel regret when I'm leaving this place..
I dont want to have to feel like i have a reason to stay.
I just want to leave it all behind and start a new life...
Its hard to understand, I'm hard to understand. I dont even understand myself.
But I know that, everything happens for a reason. Although sometimes the way it happens seems completely wrong or just completely in-comprehensive but thats just the way it is..
I understand now.. and its with this post, i lay my memories here..
forever safe kept within my blog domain and to never haunt my nights again.
At some point i guess i still wish i could spend time with everyone..
Singing through the phone, Dancing on an online game, Walking from Star cineplex to 3rd mile, drinking chocolate milkshake at our hangout, shopping for gives, sharing icecream at the local icecream store, walking under the pouring rain, storytelling on a forum/board, writing back to back storyblogs, exchanging artwork through vandalism, communicating through music, art and pictures.. etc. etc. etc...
ahh~ i miss it~ But then.. i guess that's why they are special to me..
Cos they are memories with certain people at a certain time that will make me remember them forever. :)
I am a multimedia artist, i work online and with my computer.
And the internet. is my domain~ :B
