Return of the lost

Its been soo long since I last posted anything on here.

I always come back after a hiatus though.. my blog is my hiding place i guess.

Yesterday night I was looking back at all the artworks i designed back in 2004 to 2011

The time when I did design for my neopets
and friendster (before it turned into a gaming zone) profiles aha..

 

up to the time of secondary school when my blog was titled; Cybex's Den.

and now the college works of today.

I cant even imagine how much my artwork had evolve over the years.

How innocent I was back then..

how emotional I was over little things and how it fuel me to always become better.

the way how I use to do design of God and Christianity to fuel my faith and hope.

The way I use to believe that dreams were possible,

The way I use to believe in plans and goals and hope for an amazing future life.

The way ----

The way all that went away as years past..

The innocence faded the hope dwindled, the faith disappeared.

The moment when the dreams and visions begin to blur..

and all that's left is a plastic shell.

A shell that makes me just like everybody else..

"no no NO! I dont wanna be another plastic people in this world.

I'm unique, I'm strong, I'm better, I'm powerful.

I can rule the world with a snap of my fingers.

With God by my side I can do all things."

is what i would say a couple years back..

Now...
 I dont even view any problem in being normal or neutral..

I don't even know what happened along the way..

Did I grew up? or did I just lost myself?

Was it due to an event that I fell into this zone?

or has it been happening slowly everytime i pushed people away?

Is this fate? destiny? or just reality.

I cant comprehend anymore,

all I wish is the innocence of the past,

the simple, no worries past..

where my mind and were free

free to love. to learn. anything and everything.

without having it being corrupt or end in pain.

What has happen to the world I was born in?
What happen to all the people, 
who use to blog about their lives with their links on my blog.
What happen to msn, 
with all my online friends who taught me everything about design.

What happen to the world today..
that all I ever knew has disappeared.

What happen to the love of art and music.
Sighhhh~

How did the sounds of Rain, BoA, DBSK can now corrupted by synthesized voices in modern Kpop.

How did the Boybands of the past die out and all we have left now are singing children.

How did Popstars that promote trends, beauty and sexuality became modern satanist.

How did the beautiful art of words and love novels now be cursed with stories about office sex.

No seriously, 

The world is plundering into chaos every passing second..

and it's just depressing how the world is now filled with;
Racism, Corruption, Greed, Hate, War, Pain, Misery, Pride...

I'm tired of it all.. I wanna turn back time..

Take me back back back to the way it was..

Let me be the way I once was..

Love the way I did.

Creative the way I was.

and take me away from this hole..

because.. I simply cant relate to this place any longer...

I just.. want a friend who'd understand these feelings I do :\

and now I'm rambling again.. ahah

oh well.. that's all for now..

*~*~Peace & Love readers!~*~*

Light your own path

Words for you I'd never say.

Care towards you, you'd never know.

Love for you, you'd will never understand.

Reasons to give and the reasons to hold.

Hopes forgotten, by the dwindling faith of the soul.

Forward you go or backward you slide.

Stuck in this hole of self pity will be your demise.

Fear of emotions and fear of the world.
Will bind you to this forever my dear.

So why wont you step out before it's too late,

All you have to do is follow the light.

And it will lead you to a place where everything'll be alright.