In response to my previous post.
My group mate didn't their part of their assignment..
SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE DONE A MONTH AGO..
Isn't Complete.
My whole time schedule of finishing all my assignments on time without stress completely messed up cos of the extra 3 hours I have to spend on this.
Now i reallyyyy feel like jumping off a mountain.
Seriously? seniors? so irresponsible? zz...
MOOD: UNHAPPY, On-the-verge-of-breaking-down-completely
Thursday, April 19, 2012
I'm what I've overcome
So its already the Thursday, my semester ends tomorrow (Friday). Yessss~
Cant wait for holidays..
Uhmm so I went for the tuition teaching on tues.
LOL only had 2 students mmhmm..
Its fun in its own sense. but its a little weird.
Knowing that the students are well, about 3 - 7 years younger than me only :\
But anyway its a good experience..
Tho, seeing the level of english of secondary students nowadays.
Its kinda.... uhmm unnatural.
Its like I completely don't understand what teachers are teaching their students in school nowadays.
Its fun in its own way. Abit stressful when seeing their standard.
I mean seriously, how can you improve a person's language...
It improves from daily activities, the more u do it, the more you understand it.
So i just gave them a short essay and some objective questions to do on the first day.
Communication ain't bad, i mean at least they ask whatever they don't understand.
But, I've been thinking after that lesson that maybe I'm not cut out for the job. ahaha!
I've never been that great of a teacher.
I mean the only thing I taught someone that ended up being a success was drawing ._.
English is like.. uhhh kind of hard to teach.
That and being called "老师" sends chills down my spine. LOL!
I'm not that old! :( ahahaha!
Uhh yeahh.. I'll probably stick to it for about a month and see how it goes first. :)
In other news, today is the animation presentation!
COMPLETELY UNSURE OF MY GROUP'S PROCESS ON THE ASSIGNMENT.
Hope its finished on time. our all of us is dead.
I really don't understand why must it be group work :(
I mean if it was for report i understand, but for designs is a bit weird.
Considering the fact that everyone has their own way of designing their stuff.
There will be disagreement and consequences.
In group sometimes its hard for people actually learn for themselves,
instead lead them into the way of shoving their work to one of the group members.
I just really don't understand it.. but whatever.
Just hope it can be finished on time.
I don't care about it anymore.
ahhhhhhhh... so i guess you'd probably already know that I'm not feeling well lately.
I mean you can completely tell, from my previous blog post. ahaha
At some point, I feel like I could just go on top the highest mountain in kuching and jump off it.
Feeling the cool breeze, the fast altitude drop that makes it hard to breath and the ears to bleed, and just feel alive at that final moment before it all ends. :\
ahahaha! freakin negative eh? yeahhh...
Maybe I'd get a job as a Shinigami too :) that might be fun. lol~
I dont even know what i'm saying anymore. I'm just soo unstable lately.
I need a day to just completely breakdown into nothingness.
and find myself again the following days.
Like a snake shedding its skin after completing its digestion of its food.
I need the holidays to come... ASAP..
One more day to go... then I'd be able to just completely fall to pieces. :)
:) thats all i have to update. thanks for reading.
Fireflight - What I've Overcome..
This use to be my fav song of all time :) by one of my top fav Chiristan Rock Band.
If only you could see me yesterday, Who I used to be before the change.
You'd see a broken heart, You'd see the battle scars...
Funny how words can't explain, How good it finally feels to break the chains..
I'm not what I have done, I'm what I've overcome!
Cant wait for holidays..
Uhmm so I went for the tuition teaching on tues.
LOL only had 2 students mmhmm..
Its fun in its own sense. but its a little weird.
Knowing that the students are well, about 3 - 7 years younger than me only :\
But anyway its a good experience..
Tho, seeing the level of english of secondary students nowadays.
Its kinda.... uhmm unnatural.
Its like I completely don't understand what teachers are teaching their students in school nowadays.
Its fun in its own way. Abit stressful when seeing their standard.
I mean seriously, how can you improve a person's language...
It improves from daily activities, the more u do it, the more you understand it.
So i just gave them a short essay and some objective questions to do on the first day.
Communication ain't bad, i mean at least they ask whatever they don't understand.
But, I've been thinking after that lesson that maybe I'm not cut out for the job. ahaha!
I've never been that great of a teacher.
I mean the only thing I taught someone that ended up being a success was drawing ._.
English is like.. uhhh kind of hard to teach.
That and being called "老师" sends chills down my spine. LOL!
I'm not that old! :( ahahaha!
Uhh yeahh.. I'll probably stick to it for about a month and see how it goes first. :)
In other news, today is the animation presentation!
COMPLETELY UNSURE OF MY GROUP'S PROCESS ON THE ASSIGNMENT.
Hope its finished on time. our all of us is dead.
I really don't understand why must it be group work :(
I mean if it was for report i understand, but for designs is a bit weird.
Considering the fact that everyone has their own way of designing their stuff.
There will be disagreement and consequences.
In group sometimes its hard for people actually learn for themselves,
instead lead them into the way of shoving their work to one of the group members.
I just really don't understand it.. but whatever.
Just hope it can be finished on time.
I don't care about it anymore.
ahhhhhhhh... so i guess you'd probably already know that I'm not feeling well lately.
I mean you can completely tell, from my previous blog post. ahaha
At some point, I feel like I could just go on top the highest mountain in kuching and jump off it.
Feeling the cool breeze, the fast altitude drop that makes it hard to breath and the ears to bleed, and just feel alive at that final moment before it all ends. :\
ahahaha! freakin negative eh? yeahhh...
Maybe I'd get a job as a Shinigami too :) that might be fun. lol~
I dont even know what i'm saying anymore. I'm just soo unstable lately.
I need a day to just completely breakdown into nothingness.
and find myself again the following days.
Like a snake shedding its skin after completing its digestion of its food.
I need the holidays to come... ASAP..
One more day to go... then I'd be able to just completely fall to pieces. :)
:) thats all i have to update. thanks for reading.
Fireflight - What I've Overcome..
This use to be my fav song of all time :) by one of my top fav Chiristan Rock Band.
If only you could see me yesterday, Who I used to be before the change.
You'd see a broken heart, You'd see the battle scars...
Funny how words can't explain, How good it finally feels to break the chains..
I'm not what I have done, I'm what I've overcome!
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Mirror Mirror On the Wall...
Life works in mysterious ways.
I'm going to start working tomorrow. mainly just for experience.
As a english tuition teacher. lol~ I seriously feel a bit crazy to actually accept such a job o.O
Ahh anyway hmm.. I went for a movie last week :)
Mirror Mirror ahahax~ not a movie i'd usually watch but... okaye...
and then did most of my homework and assignment already.
Should be able to get everything ready for the pass up by week's end.
Soo yeah~ Its all good..
Uhmm i'm not sure what to write or say really..
I've been quite confused..
like saturday night, i broke down cos I was well u know emotional.
due to thinking too much i guess, the usual stuff like..
How did I end up like this~ even if I can have a great future will I have someone to share it with?
yeahh.... emotional.. My thoughts have been hectic.
But I guess that cant be helped.
Still waiting for that moment when I'd get through all this emotional phases and just get into an emotionless, no feelings, life.
I guess I kinda feel like I dont want to get too attached or close to people at this moment,
cos its like I'm gonna leave kuching soon, and leave malaysia soon too hopefully.
and thoughts like that makes me feel like I shouldnt get too attached,
or I might actually miss it here, or miss the people here, the places here.
I guess that's why i've been emotional lately eh.
All I do is focus on the bad points, because I don't want the good points to hold me down.
Forcing myself to suffer?
Oh yes I am. I just really hate it here, the memories. my past. oh gawd, i hate my past.
No amount of happiness or goodness of my present life can ever over weigh the weight of my past.
I wanna leave, I wanna get away. I want to start a new..
I remember when i was young, i thought of running away and living in a jungle or something. hehe. I guess maybe cos I watched peter pan when i was young. LOL!
But yeah, I always dream of running away.
I've always been the odd one out, ever since kindergarten all the way to lower secondary school.
For the way I talk, wrote, was... people were not ready for an emotional person like me I guess.
But now look at me, I'm one of the best in my class.
I have plenty of good friends. my life isn't that bad right now.
But still.. I want to leave it all behind, for a dream of living a new life.. :)
I just want to get away.. uhmm yeah.. thats pretty much it.. :)
I'm going to start working tomorrow. mainly just for experience.
As a english tuition teacher. lol~ I seriously feel a bit crazy to actually accept such a job o.O
Ahh anyway hmm.. I went for a movie last week :)
Mirror Mirror ahahax~ not a movie i'd usually watch but... okaye...
and then did most of my homework and assignment already.
Should be able to get everything ready for the pass up by week's end.
Soo yeah~ Its all good..
Uhmm i'm not sure what to write or say really..
I've been quite confused..
like saturday night, i broke down cos I was well u know emotional.
due to thinking too much i guess, the usual stuff like..
How did I end up like this~ even if I can have a great future will I have someone to share it with?
yeahh.... emotional.. My thoughts have been hectic.
But I guess that cant be helped.
Still waiting for that moment when I'd get through all this emotional phases and just get into an emotionless, no feelings, life.
I guess I kinda feel like I dont want to get too attached or close to people at this moment,
cos its like I'm gonna leave kuching soon, and leave malaysia soon too hopefully.
and thoughts like that makes me feel like I shouldnt get too attached,
or I might actually miss it here, or miss the people here, the places here.
I guess that's why i've been emotional lately eh.
All I do is focus on the bad points, because I don't want the good points to hold me down.
Forcing myself to suffer?
Oh yes I am. I just really hate it here, the memories. my past. oh gawd, i hate my past.
No amount of happiness or goodness of my present life can ever over weigh the weight of my past.
I wanna leave, I wanna get away. I want to start a new..
I remember when i was young, i thought of running away and living in a jungle or something. hehe. I guess maybe cos I watched peter pan when i was young. LOL!
But yeah, I always dream of running away.
I've always been the odd one out, ever since kindergarten all the way to lower secondary school.
For the way I talk, wrote, was... people were not ready for an emotional person like me I guess.
But now look at me, I'm one of the best in my class.
I have plenty of good friends. my life isn't that bad right now.
But still.. I want to leave it all behind, for a dream of living a new life.. :)
I just want to get away.. uhmm yeah.. thats pretty much it.. :)
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