Tuesday, May 27, 2014



I'll be leaving this place in a month or so..
I might still come back during breaks and holidays.
but I'm unsure, can't say I'd miss this place. 
There's too many memories here that I'd be happier if I can forget.
And although I'd be going to a new place alone..
It feels kinda refreshing to have a new start.
Sure the new location may not be what I'd wish it to be,
In fact the people there might be worse than the people here.
But ultimately, with the experienced I've gained in my life here,
I'm sure I'd be perfectly fine there aswell. 

I wish things could be different, really I do.. I have my regrets. 
But unless I'm willing to put myself down in harms way again and put out 100% of myself, 
I wouldn't be able to fix my life here.
Its too late for me, I've risen and fallen too much here..
My life stains this place like blood to a bed sheet,
It'll never fully disappear, the pain.. the loneliness.. these memories.
So, in the end my choice is simply to run..

Hopefully, sooner or later I'd find a place to call my own, a place to make myself a home.
But till that day comes, all I can do is run.
Seems silly doesn't it? To run from one's own past..
and yet.. Its what I've chosen to do..
to search for.. to find ... a reset button to this pitiful life of mine..
Perhaps I'm just too broken to try anything else.
Too scared.. too cowardly to face my life in the face..
Maybe that's why I have such... unrealistic beliefs and dreams..
But really in the end..
I'm just too tired of facing life alone.. 
and all I want to do is find someone to face the world with..
someone who'd understand that I may not be a 100% but if trusted, 
I'd do everything in my power to be with her. Regardless of anything the world throws at me..
However.. along the years of my life. I seem to have lost of faith in the world.
I don't see how this world could even harbor such a pure soul anymore.

No matter.. I'm leaving soon.. and I'm glad.
I'm gonna start putting my hope back in my life..
Hopefully it would not end horribly.
And maybe, just maybe. I'd be able to put myself back together again..




//If these paper stars could grant me just one wish//

//I'd wish to restart my life properly and be with you once again, love of my life.//