Monday, May 19, 2014

Seemingly... frustrated

Artist block!

( artwork by: Beth Harvey)

It would seem that I feel into a hole I can't escape :\
Artist block; when all your ideas just don't wanna come out~

I have the idea, the concept..
A hero fallen, a villain rises, a country divided, a revolution evolving, a world broken.
A beginning that lets 'The Character' say;
"I'm sorry, but this is my story."

And yet these shards of ideas, I can't seem to piece the ideas together..
The illustration is on the tip of my mind, but it doesn't wanna come out.

Arghh the frustration...
Though, I should be being busy with a lot of other stuff that stressing about my own personal art work..

But to be honest, I can't seem to get myself to do anything lately.
Life's been too confusing. Which leads me back to~~ art! & wouldn't you know it.
Just when I needed it most, no ideas come to me..
Just utter frustration and confusion.

Why can't life be easier. or perhaps i should ask... why can't I lead a simpler life :\
hmm... and who am I to take up your time to read my random rantings about life and art~

Then again~ this is my Blog and I can write whatever I please! yay~
And upside! There's CG special gathering tomorrow.
... unsure if that's really an upside though o.O
Considering how anti-social i'm feeling these few days.. pfft...

Okayy~ 'nuff said, 'nuff ranting
~Nothing special happened today~
So I bid you, my little readers, a happy day ahead/tomorrow.



//P.S; "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Sunday, May 18, 2014

A Future Uncertain


“Regardless of your faith, you can never escape uncertainty.” ― Shannon L. Alder



I received a call from my college a few days back, telling me that if I wanted to continue pursuing my studies there's an intake in July for the Creative Multimedia Degree in West Malaysia. It is as though the path just randomly opened up to me.Yet I'm unsure if I should pursue this path. I mean sure if I go now, i'd graduate at 24 and if I'd still decide to go for Theology afterwards , I'd probably be around 26. But really though I'm unsure of what to pursue.

A long time ago, all I wanted was a simple life.
Have a job - a lover - a house - marriage - kids - simple life.
But it would appear that... life has caused me much heartache.. To a point where I no longer wish for a simple life.. or any reason to simply to just be living.

I thirst for more.. I'm tired of these mundane things everyone pursues. It makes everyone seems too similar, too alike, too normal, too human.. So I think ultimately for this uncertainty I might just go with the flow of it. And see where this wind takes me.
To be honest. I don't know what I want anymore.
Well, not really. There's many things I want, but I don't know which to choose.
And if choices would allow me, I might consider giving my life to you once more.
But alas that's but a distant dream for another me in a parallel world.

But what of this world and this life.
What kind of life should I lead? what kind of history should I leave behind?

The uncertainty is housing doubts within me...
Oh how I wish there was someone I can confide my feelings to...
I miss you, but I can't stay still anymore.

The one thing you've taught me is to face life with all I have.
To have loved you, to have lost you.
I finally feel like I can let go now, to finally take on a life-changing decision.

Wherever the paths of life takes me, my destination shall never change.
Regardless of how much time I'd waste or how much mistakes I'd make.
Or however late I am to reach that place. I will reach it.
For that is my resolve. 

It is the only certain thing in my life of uncertainties.


------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday I had a J-Drama marathon completely watching,
The Hours of My Life (Boku no Ita Jikan/僕のいた時間)


It is a Drama series about a college leaver who just found out he had ALS(amyotrophic lateral sclerosis)

//For people who don't know, ALS is the disease that Stephen Hawking had. It is a sickness where a person slowly loses functionality of their body, basically the muscles slowly get paralyze part by part, bit by bit. It affects shoulders, hands, arms, fingers, legs, feet, limbs, and basically works up to the respiratory organs of which would require the patient to be put on Ventilator to help them breathe (which would disable their ability to speak/eat normally) Its basically a horrible disease of which still has no easy way to determine, no known causes, no cure nor treatment.//

Anyway, in the 11-episode drama, the main character had to start working after graduating college. When he slowly finds out of his disease which completely changed his course in life. As he knows he is unable to fully enjoy life now. And the worse part was that it was during the main turning point of life. The time when he was suppose to figure out his future.. He found out that he could not have a normal future at all.
Its a very heartwarming and heartbreaking drama that really touched my heart.

And it reminded me of someone. Someone close who i dearly miss, whom passed away due to cancer.
It was because of this that I decided to allow myself to let my life take whichever course it will lead me,
because there is no certainty in life. The best way to counteract this is to simply have faith to face whatever comes my way. It reminded me of something our mutual friend told me when she passed, "to live" she said. To live on for myself and for her. I was reminded of this when I was watching the final Episode of the drama, where the phrase "Your body is not just yours." which was actually expressing that, your life is not your own but also part of everyone else's who have a part in it.

I love the drama and how I could relate to all the emotions felt within it...
It definitely gave me the angle I needed to go through my current state of life.




Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Present and Future


"In order to find yourself, you need to get lost in the forest of life." - Mike Dolan

The last couple of months has been a rather roller coaster ride for me.
I'm currently jobless and looking for a uni to enroll to.
and yet at the same time, i'm not sure if that's what I should really be doing.
I'm not even sure what course to take if I were to enroll into a uni.
and a part of me is just so tired of life itself.

I am/was at a lost a complete lost...

yet, in the past couple of weeks I was found.
I rededicate my life.. though no fully (yet) to my spiritual life.
trying to be more active in church... sort of. 
I transferred myself to another cell group,
because I know that if I don't take the step, I probably never will.


------------------------------------------------------------------


So today I went up jungle tracking with the group and other church mates.
I'm not an outdoorsy person, so it was kinda sorta tiring for me.
especially THAT early in the morning. ahahaha
and the sun was freakin hot..
but complains aside, seeing how the youth groups were so energetic in there was entertaining.
and I know that at some point my mum likes nature walks really.
I think that's also part of the reason I decided to go,
since I personally dont like things like this, so I'd probably never bring mum there.
And if I were to leave Kuching and never come back.
I'd probably never get the chance to goto stuff like this ever again.
Still she had fun, so that's good. Especially since she was practically hanging out with strangers.

So I'm grateful for that part of the trip.

I got to spend time with ALPHA cellgroup, although it seems rather awkward for me still.
I just don't like socializing, never did. But maybe someday I will?
Perhaps... maybe.. I still don't know much about them.

(props to my CGL for the photo)

At any rate, the trip~
had to wake up at 7 just to get ready to meet up with the mates at 101.
Then went all the way up to Bau, for the jungle tracking which lasted about 2 hours.
Afterwards went down to Wind cave,
and then to lunch at a food court near Tasik Biru *translates: Blue Lake.
Last destination was the lake itself.
Where we all gathered talked and hanged out for a while before heading back home.
It was a rather... eventful day. Even though I really am not the type of person to really enjoy outings like this..

It was fun, and seeing how much *someone* has become such a great leader kinda left me in awe.
Like how my (possibly) bad decision in the past, could leave such a big gap between the differences and level on the both of us.

At some point, it made me wanna do more,
to get back on the same level as her, or perhaps even surpass her.
When I was in form4 I had a dream to study Theology, I never told anyone this except my closest friend.
But after awhile, after i got into a serious relationship that deeply broke me at the end.
I was left broken for a longgg time, that which I felt without the need to live my life anymore.
I'm still broken, and the scars on my heart will never heal.
I should've known better than to love soo deeply.
or at least I should've been more stable back then... whatever the case though.

These scars are perhaps the ones that'd take me through the times ahead.
Which is why, I've decided to devote myself to church more... slowly aha.
and eventually if God wills it, head for the desire i once had to enter theology.

Personally, I've always had a desire to change the world.
To bring about a revolution, but seeing the world today.
The demotivated people around me, the lack of reason in the society around me.
I feel that there's no real way for me to change the world if I was just part of the society.
Even leaders now do not have authority within their own country.
It is truly a saddening sight to know that, the world is breaking.
And there's no real way to unite it.

Even if war were to happen, it would not bring about an economic race that came like after WW2.
for if there was a war now, it'd completely destroy the world and everyone within it.
At a political standpoint, there's no longer a way to save the world or its people from their ways.
Even at a marketplace/economical standpoint the world is dying.
Technology standpoint, there's no longer anything people can create that can fix the world only to destroy it more.

So all that's left is a religious standpoint.
Perhaps if my desire was strong enough I'd be able to change the world from this point,
even if just as a small part.
Why do I want to change the world in the first place?
I always liked the thought of a revolutionary change. As I believe that the world would be stronger united under one rule, rather than hundreds. Indeed Conquerors of the past have tried to rule the world, but their vision were flawed as their greed and wrath clouded their overall judgement.

I believe that, the world should be made equal. But not in the form of communism, but rather similar to the Earth of Star Trek, in that trilogy/series. People have advanced to a point where money no longer exist and people just do what they do for the sake of serving their planet. Similarly I think that people should embrace teachings like that. A place where greed no longer exist can really boost a world's overall performance.
And if in a religious view, how good it would be if everyone on the earth went back to God. Living under the One way that we were meant to live? Would that not be... a more fulfilling life than the routine we've fixated ourselves to?

But alas, my future is still unclear to me. A vivid desire, does not equal the weight of living it out.
I'm still ultimately unsure of what to do.

A cross to bear, but which to choose?
A future unknown. But by God I know eventually I'll make it through.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

The Way

Its been awhile since i last posted,
But i always seem to find my way back here..

It'd seem that I still find most peace when in the comfort of pretty words and creative sentences.

I've been... dying from lack of sleep lately,
due to the sudden change of sleeping time cos of work.
working 6 full days a week is a killer!

and having 3 amazingggg church service to attend from Thurs till Sat.. was just like,
being sooo tired that I can no longer sleep.. and when I do sleep, it'd be time for me to get up..

It'd appear that I've entered the working life..
and I dont like the feel of it..
Dont get me wrong, the place I'm working at is totally awesome, friendly colleagues, stressful jobs on some days, simple jobs on other days..

I just dont like knowing that i've already reached the age where I actually have to work..
If I could, I'd glady live without money than to have to work as if money is everything..
I dislike how people in this world only picture money as everything.

But if it's not, what else is there..
Apparently, God... as always when there's no answer, He's the answer..
and here I am again in His presence, a lost black sheep..
and my mind's been pulling me left and right, up and down.. in a vertigo.
Illusions and misdirections, I'm lost...
But I've found my way.. and I've finally decided on what I want to do..
or rather what I have to do..
something more, something new.. something.. different.. unique..
something that'll bring me up spirit above all else..
something that's out of this world, something that'll lead me out of these earth-bound chains..

~ So let the new year come and set a platform for my new found resolution and resolve ~

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Meaning of Life

So the meaning to life is to just live it. Yeah, i know its the worse meaning ever.
But i get it now, there's nothing.. completely nothing at all!
I mean really, what would you do if you were to die now and find out that there's no other side,
There's only darkness. pure darkness. with you feeling yourself drift away into nothingness.
Vanish completely without a trace of existence, and within coming days be completely wiped from the world.
Completely and utterly forgotten, just another gravestone in the field where no one weeps for.
That's it, that is all there is. There's no remedy nor cure nor magic or witchcraft that could stop the coming end. No object to fill the emptiness of such a dreaded fate.
There's nothing, there's only the silence of death. Pure Silence.
No voice. No sound. No soul. Just a passing energy within the void we call earth.
Sure, you can fight for your life. I mean that's probably the only way to go.
Since there's nothing else, that's all there is. To fight, to find, to create immortality.
To be able to be remembered after death, to be written down throughout the years of history.
It doesn't matter if the contents are good or evil. Surely these moralities are irrelevant in the void of death.
And it goes without saying that this world and its temptations are but illusions we give ourselves.
All simply because we corrupt one another into believing that life is about pleasure and pain, redemption and suffering, love and hate, compassion and anger.
Refusing.. denying that the fact of the matter is.. at the end, there is only death.
We write, we crave, we feel, we hope, we breath and we wish for immortality to be given to us.
No matter how flawed or horrible it may be, we crave to be undying.
For all the fears of a human beings are linked to death.
Even the suicidal ones are but doing it in fear of death.
its inevitable. Its life. And life leads to death, nothing more, nothing less.
we lie, we cheat, and we pray. But there's nothing there.
The world is just a hollow shell.
Empty... utterly empty..
There is no real meaning to life, its just a passing moment.
Like a puddle dried up by the sun, so shall our life be delivered unto death.
Breath in and breath out. A passing energy, a passing wind. That's all there is, that final breath..
The breath of death that lingers, without a host or body,
Death remains eternal while life remains hollow.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Clockworks

I'm still threading on a path that leads to places unseen.
Minutes feel like hours, hours feel like days.
I'm lost in a world where time seems to pass so slow.

The uneasy feeling of someone is watching me.
like there's a shadow outside my windows.
hearing whispers of words i cannot comprehend.
I scream my silent screams throughout the night,
asking for an answer, a path.. a reason.
A reason for this life that was given me.
But again to no avail, no answers were given.
It would seems that I'm nothing more than entertainment to a higher power,
who has yet to give and perhaps never will give meaning to my life.

Oh how I wish the end days would arrive soon..
to see fire and brimstone fall upon the earth,
I've completely fallen away from God, I fear.
I'm a sinner with thoughts that stretches throughout the genres of all 7 sins..
Well.. 6 sins.. for I feel no greed. I just don't see the point of such earthly things.
However, I lust for power. I'm hungry for attention.
I envy the wicked and the good, I want destruction I want war.
My ego is at a point where I no longer feel obliged to care for those around me.
It's as though all the people around me have lost their values.
they perspective, their thoughts, their tiny little plans for their tiny little life..
I care no more, I tire of the selfish ways of everyone around me.
Hypocrites they are, every last one of them.

21 years I've waited, 21 long years.. for a meaning, a reason, a truth.
and I have perhaps another 40? 50? 60? 80? more years of life to go..
am I to continue waiting through out these long years?
for no reason at all.. I wait, waiting for something to just come and tell me what my purpose in life is.
But I'm tired, soo tired.. 21 almost 22 years have passed..
and I've yet to see any sign or reason for this planet for the human race.
I've held out soo long because I've seen the good in people for a time.
but it has degraded.. the entire human race has degraded and some devolved.

through living this daily life, I've seen, I've heard..
I've felt more hatred than I've ever felt before.
I just cant see the good in people anymore.
I cant see the good in anything.
I fear, I've gone insane through days/months without company..
yet its in these lonely days that I've found.. knowledge.
and like how the clockworks ticks, so does my heart beat beats.
without feelings or thinking too deep, it'll stop beating its rhythmic tick-tock-tick.

Monday, August 12, 2013

My path in the world today


(This post about my thoughts of the state of the world today, especially here in Malaysia. After all the shootings and deaths and declining currency rate. There's really nothing left for me to do but to rant about it.)


There's a dark path in life that many dare not travel. 

And it is on this path that I'm journeying upon. 
There is a void in the darkness here, but there is also peace. 
a serenity that somehow brightens this tiny part of my heart.
It is on this trail that I found dreams within suffering.
hope within the darkness, a tiny spark of happiness within ignorance.
Oh~ the creativity of the imaginative mind.
From which came so many amazing and wondrous works of art.

It was here on this path of my life,
that I learnt to fear the horrible poisoned bite of reality.
But no more. No more will I let this poison course through my veins.
Reality is a trick, a broken dimension, a vast mistake created by the fear of mankind.
Like wolves, reality bite and consumes the weak minded and causes rabies to take over.
Turning whats left of human freedom, human creativity into dust.
Like shackles and chains it binds the minds, 
pushing it to a corner, forcing it to live like a zombie of society.
Shoving our imperfection to the limit where people embrace it as being 'normal'.

I've tried 'normal', I've tried to be one of it for very long.
But it just wasn't me. oh no~ I'm definitely of the abnormal.
And all those who've deemed me below them, I've shrugged them off.
They fear change, they fear abnormality. 
All because, it doesnt correspond with the reality that has poisoned their life.
Such pathetic souls they have, to be bound by such chains.
Are these people worthy to be saved? to be enlightened?
Perhaps. But it is not my duty to save them.
Oh no~ to save is to fight, and God knows I'm no fighter.
I'm too destructive to save anyone.
The world has yet to be enlightened to see the greatness of their minds.
And they may never will. The world grows strong with these illusions of reality day after day.


They tighten their chains with each passing second. 
Until all dreams are shattered and all that's left is hopelessness.
I tell you this, the death of a man is not when he dies or when his lifestyle is jeopardize,
The death of the man is when he let the reality of the world control his every move.
When all he strive for is to be a good citizen of a normal society.
Where he dares not dream, dare not vision, dare not be confident.
That is the death of the modern man. Death by fear of abnormality.


These shackles are what will rain chaos upon this land when apocalypse comes.
Are you really certain you're capable of survival if all you believe in is the society?
the governments that tell you 'everything is fine' when wars being to erupt country by country?
Are you really capable of survival if the world were to fall into chaos?
Where systems will fail, and people being to break down into pieces of filth.
Filth that riots, rape, kill, steal and destroy everything you've believed in.
Pushing you yet to another corner where you believe to survive is to be like them?



Oh~ how the mighty human race has fallen!
These news we see everyday,
 it tells of how much us humans have become completely barbaric.
Animals even. What ever happened to the class and the pride of humanity?
Are these walking dead all that's left of the human race?
Countries everywhere plagued with destruction, deaths, murders, greed, bankruptcy, etc.
Everything are but a means to an end.
Unless someone is willing to take up the flag and uprise a new nation.
The human race is just going to deteriorate and fall into eternal darkness.



In our day and age right at this moment,
Where people are completely throwing away all pride and turning into animals.
I start to think that it'd be better if we had someone who would be willing to change the world.
To bring it into total balance and under one rule, 
similar to what Adolf Hitler wanted to do when he ignited the fire of World War II.

Did you know that Adolf Hitler was an artist?
A great painter he was.. But shun by society and rejected from art school again and again.
Living in poverty, he was alone, he was angry, he was an artist.
Then he enlisted into WW1 and became a Hero, 
An artist in his greatest low, turned hero from the bloods that he shed through his anger. 
Then he betrayed his country, failed. Got thrown into prison.
Wrote a book in prison, started a propaganda, got himself an underground army.
Took over Germany and half the world.

Do you see the strength of the creative mind?
He painted artworks with great creativity, rejected. 
He painted the plains with blood of the soviets and became a Hero.
And to exact his revenge he took over his home country with literature and poetry of a book.
Oh but alas~ He died a beautiful suicidal death. 
A pity, the world today could use a person with such anguish and ambition.
Too bad, I dont see this world worth saving, or I might just take up that banner of reformation.


In the greatest words of 

H.P. Lovecraft
"Heaven knows where I'll end up - but it's a safe bet that I'll never be at the top of anything! Nor do I particularly care to be."


And with that I end my rant of this broken world.

In hopes that someone would arise and reform it before it burns any longer.
Peace out readers.



Heil Zeon
"Sieg Zeon! Rise, our people, Rise! Take your sorrow, and turn it into anger!
 Zeon thirsts for the strength of its people!"

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Side effects

Wow~ been having such a busy week~
bro going back to KL tomorrow, and I wont be seeing him again till his wedding ceremony end of year.
mmhmm~
had japanese food for dinner yesterday (26th July) 
went to Sanga Japanese Restaurant.
it was.. not bad, but not as good as Tarot Salmon (at Boutique Hotel)
but it was still good enough for a japanese restaurant.
mehh~ my bro asked me what was my plan for the future.
and after telling him a bunch of random options thats been going through my mind,
he said that since my dream was always to goto Japan, i should just go for it.
I guess at some point he's right,
I shouldnt be held back by a past I can no longer see or a future that no longer exist for me.
I should just move on. & just... go for what I want.. ne?
that's it rite? that's what I'm suppose to do?
yet why do I feel so uneasy..
I feel like there's still so much I have to do before I leave.
yet I dont know what, or why, or how..
too many broken relationships and friendships lying around here.
Should they be mended before I leave, or should I completely shut my hometown out of my life completely?
cos' as everyone knows, I never liked my life here.
never had, never will. Even though I've had good experiences, the ones that sprout out the most are the bad.
I've had good days out with close friends who I hold dear before,
yet all I remember of them now are how we grew apart but not the things that made us friends in the first place.
Have I fallen to such a depth of negativity that I can no longer see the good things in life?
or have I matured and understand how to accept reality as it is?
at any rate, last time my plan was to go to Japan once I have enough money to.

My brother however, helped me planned it out to a point where
I'd be able to move and live in Japan by 2015 with a stable life.
He was always better at detailed planning than my target and go with the flow style. LOL.
But yeah, with the way things is going, I should be able to meet the target by 2015.
Is this wise though?
I need a day out with some of my close friends soon i guess.. :\
Alyn coming back next month so thats a great big plus. 
Since she's always been a direct go for your dreams type person.
She'd probably say that the Japan by 2015 plan is solid good~
while others might say I should pray for God's guidance.
mehh.. for now I'll just try my best to hit the target I guess.
I'm feeling better after conveying my feelings here.

Anyway~
Today bought 2 new shirts. Dark Maroon and Dark brown.
for my bro's wedding dinner end of year. lol
Justin Timberlake styled shirts :|
ohh~ and 2 new pairs of awesome shoes :3 mmmm~
and now I'm halfway broke.. great.. :( 
but I guess its all good~
I might need those shirts in the future anyway.
aha..
Oh well~ 



Friday, July 26, 2013

Memories Of You

------------emotional breakdown------------

我知道你是怎么想的 

但是浪费太多时间可以失去了很多机会,使和平.

我真不希望我们永远有这种差距, 

如果我现在离开了,我永远不会回来了.

但...

没关系了. 

对不起,我永远也不能修复我带给你的痛苦.. 的伤口.

我所想要的只是让你快乐.. 为了你,我愿意做任何事.

也许 我从来没有清楚地表达我的感受.
也许 我们的爱情只是一个无望的梦想
也许, 我应该怜悯你不理解我是多么爱你..
或许, 我们太认识对方, 已经知道 对方与别人 可以有更好的生..

希望 你可以找到你自己的幸福快乐.

谢谢你  给了我许多美好的纪念

.. 我再也不会讲出这段感情了.
也许在另一个平行时空里,我们是在一起的。 
(quote from: 那些年,我們一起追的女孩)

真可悲, 不是在这一个时空里..

Thursday, July 25, 2013

been~

My bro came back yesterday~

He got me a new 1TB Hard disk drive~ Yay~

and also~ I got myself a new Samsung Galaxy Express.


Its sufficient enough since I dont really use my phone much anyway. hah~

So didn't do much yesterday..
Today went to Logos Hope~
The floating book fair. LOL
the ship was wayyyyy hugeeeee, and all the foreigners volunteering in there were all friendly,
It sort of made me want to join them even more
(( See, the last couple of days I was looking through all the options I have for my future, but since even I cant be certain on which way would be the best way to go, I looked into a bunch of random things and thought of the best possible outcome of each options. joining Logos was one of those choices, i mean 1 - 2 years spent travelling from country to country to help the needy and living on a ship seems pretty intense and fun in its own way))

Soo yeahhh, I dont know what to do anymore..
sigh.. life use to be soo much simpler..
How I wish I could just grab a knife and stab my heart out..
cos' seriously, some of this 'living a life' thing just isnt worth the hassle..
mehh~ anyway enough about me..

after visiting le big book fair ship~
went to catch The Wolverine at MBO. 


It was.. bittersweet really..
Well the movie was great~ ( a lil disappointed that they didnt follow the cartoon series, but mehh still good)
though one thing sorta annoyed me was how the main actress had some resemblances to my ex-gf .


Aside from that~ the movie was excellent.
The Silver Samurai (the villain) was not what i expected really.
But damn it looked cool, either that or its just cos I loveee Japanese stuff :\
mehh!
cant wait for the next x-men movie now~
cant really give a proper review on this, since I'm quite an x-men fan. LOL! so yeahh..

8/10

and that's pretty much for my day today.. yes its a short post.
But I'm just tired and there's a lot going on with my mood lately.

Signing off~
Peace and Love readers :)


---


" 如果  我还是爱着你,会改变什么吗?你会怎么办?"
当你不知道她的感受,  爱着她是最难的事。


Saturday, July 13, 2013

Pacific Rim

Yesterday night~ 
went to catch Pacific Rim at the cinema with the usual group 

-1 person (he was busy dating with his gf *cough*)

Anyway! the movie was... okay.. lol 

Here's a low down on the movie~ Its a tribute to the classic Toku films japanese movies.
Ultraman and Godzilla. which is why the Kaiju (giant monsters) in this movie resembled the classic Ultraman monster and of course Godzilla.

Here you see the resemblance of the classic Ultraman Kaiju and the new Pacific Rim Kaiju.
or you can simply refer them as Granpa Kaijus and their grand childrens.


Its basically the same storyline as those classic movies/series. 
Giant monsters entering earth through a dimensional portal to destroy/reform the earth.
and the humans fight back with Giant robots.. Its like power rangers and ultraman all over again..
But with better graphics and 3D effects~

I'm not gonna hate, cos when I was young I liked the classic power ranger series. ("Power Rangers" as in the first season of the series, the ones with the dinosaur robots, not the new shitty acting power rangers they have now).


As a movie though.. Pacific Rim disappoints me. Oh sure they recreated the movie in full cool animation.. 
But when you dont classify it under 'Giant Monster' movies, you'd put it as a giant robot movie.
Which in this case, if you were to compare the movie to;  Real Steel , Transformers and/or Battleship. This movie just doesnt reach the limit set by those movies.

As a giant monster movie its good~
But that's only cos there hasn't been a good one since the King Kong remake. But overall the movie was still good enough.. I mean back in the 90s movies like Godzilla never had great storyline either. I can see that they really tried to implement a storyline into pacific rim, but it just felt soo Power Ranger -ish , that just cant help but feel sort of ripped off.

That aside, the acting is good enough.. They had Rinko Kikuchi as the main female heroine, so that's a plus. She maybe 30+ year old, but she's still a good looking actress. The male lead is, Charlie Hunman. He fitted the role of Pacific Rim's lead row really well... since the main character is a marine head. Which of course means it doesnt require much acting skill.. aha.. 

For Storyline~ the whole Transformers history is basically more reformed and well-made, compared to that of the classic Godzilla movies and of course Pacific Rim now. The storyline could've been a lot better if they included more logical stuff into it.


This was the main disappointment for me, the storyline was just not as well defined as the movie now. At the end of it all I just felt like I just came out from watching a boxing match. All that was shown was fighting. If the fighting had a good story background like Real Steel, it would've been more interesting for me.  but no, it was just pure action.. Keeping true to the Kaiju style movie, like Ultraman~ endless giants fighting each other. 


Overall I rate the movie: 7/10

Because in the end its still a 3D animated movie, even if the storyline is lacking.
For me a a movie that doesnt require the use of the brain is a downpoint, though I know some people would view it as a plus side. To each their own opinion. 

Its still a movie with great graphics, great camera angles, epic soundtrack. So what it lacks, it makes up for with good animations. aha


I have a few friends who found this movie epic though. I guess its different depending on what kind of series you watch when you were growing up. The ones that liked this movie alot i found were the Kamen Rider and Ultraman fans. So overall, I guess the movie didn't fail as much as it disappointed me.
I might have enjoyed it better if I was a Godzilla fan. 

But since I'm not.. *disappointed* 


Still check it out if you likey giant robots, giant aliens, cool animation, japanese chick or muscular hunks.

 And that's all I have to review for the movie. 


 Additional Review Link: I agree with this review~ http://morningjournal.com

Friday, July 12, 2013

Back On Track

Meow~
Hey readers~!

So, as you all know I've been quite inactive in my blog for some time now.
The reason for it was cos' college and work and my personal life was like mega hectic earlier in the year.

But since I'm finally free from all those hard work and tiring days.
I'm gonna return to my daily blogging life. nyahaha~
Starting with~ This uber long post of random happenings!

Currently, with my hiatus from doing anything productive .__.!
I've been hanging out with friends, doing artworks and watching random movies,animes and tv series!
That's what I'll be posting about here~ so without further ado lets bring on the entertainment!



ENTERTAINMENT


Game: Mstar Online


Yesterday 11th July~ Mstar Online started its Open Beta (Garena Server)! I've been playing this game on off for the past month during its Closed Beta. But now it's finally officially opened.

Mstar is a K-pop theme dance game. For now all the songs are K-pop songs and all the dance style are actual dance moves of the actual group. The graphics of the game is top-notch since the game is running on the Unreal Engine (its a 3D enhancing software). Although for now in the testing phase the game only has songs from SM artist like Girls Generation, Shinee, BoA, TVXQ, etc. But the designers are saying they'll bring more songs in the future, including japanese and english songs.

So if you're a fan of music or Kpop idols, a dance lover or a random hardcore gamer. This game is definitely worth checking out.









Anime Series: Bakuman 
Genre: Romance , Drama , Slice of Life

I only finished watching this anime last week, and its soo good! 

It shows the story of a teenager and his friend who tries their best to become the top manga artist in the industry. Where the main character vowed to get married after their manga gets published as an anime series. Its a 3 Season anime, where the first season showed their middle/high school life, second season during their college/university life, and finally marriage as the season 3 finale.


Its one of those shows that gives good tear-jerking and LOL moments. And its also a good in-sight into the Japanese lifestyle, them sleepless nights working on projects and all the moments of having to make hard choices, etc. Its definitely not a kids show and not suitable for anyone who isn't mature enough to understand the show's environment, so if you're into the whole action anime like Naruto. STAY AWAY FROM THIS ANIME. 

If you're a person who loves cutesy romance drama or if you're into arts and design, check it out :)  


You can watch this and other animes on : www.onepieceofbleach.com
Its in english subtitle on that website :) 




TV Series: Falling Skies (Season 3)

Last month the series Falling Skies had their season 3 premiere, now if you never watched the first few seasons of Falling Skies. Its this interesting sci-fi series about people trying to survive and fight back an alien invasion. Its sort of like The Walking Dead series, but with an alien theme instead of zombies! Its really good, the storyline and since the series was produced by Steven Spielberg you know it's gonna be a good sci-fi with lots of head scratching moments. Anyway Falling Skies season 3 didn't disappoint, at the start of the 2 hour season premiere the show started by directly jumping into the action. But instead of writing about it, let me show you a snippet of the first few minutes of the Falling Skies season 3 episode 1.







Movie: Escape From Planet Earth

Here's a cute animated movie to check out, the story is about aliens going out on a space adventure to Earth, and got caught by the Area 51 soldiers. mehh~ Just watch the trailer.

If you haven't seen this movie. Its really quite a nice movie :)







And that is all for this week's entertainment update :D

Peace & Love Readers! ^_^



Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Dreadful..


So~ I've been~ doing absolutely nothing productive lately!
lol.. ahhh~ I've sorta built walls the last couple of weeks o.O
Now I feel content with myself and the people around me.
I have completely removed all lingering emotions I have towards the people around me.
and now all their complaints and rantings about their lives just bore me.

Still trying to figure out what to do now tho..
Probably have to find a job soon.
October is still a long way to go... Stupid College, only holds graduation ceremonies end of year.. pfftt..
Worse! My result isn't out yet! and its been like a month+ 

Ohhh~~ I started Japanese classes. Yay~ 
Although I've never been good in any other language other than english~
I'mma trying my best to burst out all my focus on it~~~
-focus--- focus---~ hahax~ 
wheee~ Hope I can do well in it~ 
But for now~ my To-Do List is simple,

-Find A Job-
-Keep House Clean-
Learn to Drive? maybe..? hmm.. uhh
-Learn Japanese-

aha! that's pretty much it for now~
I'm probably gonna try to apply for some scholarship once i graduate..
but for now~ this is it~
after graduation~~ going to the big city~ KL~
and then I'll either work or study, or both.
and once I get a stable lifestyle~
hopefully by the age of 28~
I'd be able to~

a - Move to Japan
b - Buy my own House
c - Make it to the top of the design corporate ladder 



Mehh~ there's only so much I can plan at this given time :\
My heart still lingers with the thought of 'when' though..
I've been soo alone the past couple of days, I'ma probably gonna go CRAZIE soonnn!
i mean.. CRAZIERRR since I'm already crazy at some point o.O
bahh~ another year, another 5, another 10? another 20 perhaps..
guess I can wait it out.. 
suddenly 21 doesnt feel that old anymore..
Actually knowing that I can probably live another 40+ years.. 
makes me feel like I should end my life now really.

I mean 21~ woo~ damn! I need to live for another 40 years on this forsaken planet?! fml~
or something like that. AHA!

"To Live Is To Strive." As much as I hate to strive. Guess I gotta try..
It sucks to have to accept reality and grow up ((ESPECIALLY when I REALLY DONT WANNA~))
hmph... oh well~
guess that's all for now.

~PEACE AND LOVE ~
~Thanks for checking out my blog, readers~
~Sorreh! it hasnt been as colorful as it used to be~


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Soul Searching

Well.. its July. How fast time flies eh?
So the entire last month.. I've done nothing productive.
and I've been feeling so down, trying to figure out what to do next in my life.
Hope is an illusion that I no longer hold.
There is only good and bad decisions, nothing more nothing less.

So last night I did a bit of soul searching.
Burning down and reminiscing shattered pieces from the memories of my past.
I was inspired, but not enough.
I need more inspiration, and yet I know not where to find it.
There's this deep black hole in me that I cant seem to fill.
Its like a virus that consumes within me,
It molds me, it breaks me, its the voice that speaks to me.

But all the walk down memory lane wasn't in vain.
and a list was formed..

1. The Death Dealer
2. A Dreadful Storm
3. The Runaway Curse
4. The Vintage Dreamer
5. The Lovers' Regrets
6. A Hopeful Death
7. Lost of Sense and Direction
8. Fear of Commitment
00. The Fallen Angel

I think I've been lazing around long enough, aha.
Sucks to think that I've to step out into the world.
Ah well... :\

Thursday, June 6, 2013

21...

So.. my 21st birthday..

Growing up... growing older.. I come to realize who I am.
I've met people, good people, awesome people, amazing people, friends, brothers, sisters, disciples and masters. People who've given me hopes, and people who caused utter disappointments.
People who hurt and people who heal. People who leaves and people that stays.
On the hour when I was asleep on my birthday~

I cried, for I realized as far as my memory can go back, I've never had a birthday will a full family before.
And I know I never will, perhaps someday when I have my own family I would.
At the moment of my wake,

I found my resolve. I found myself. I realize that in Life, people simply don't get happy endings.
Life just isn't going to be easy and people will always disappoint.
I've completely and utterly given up on the people around me.

A day of celebration? sure.. a celebration of my enlightenment.
To Live is to adapt~ to grow~
I've given up on hope, I've given up on dreams.
All I have is a goal..
A goal to run~ to leave this place~~
To leave it all behind~ A goal I will achieve even if I was to be the death of me.
F*ck everything and everyone.
I don't need anything or anyone. I just need to push myself towards the ending I desire.
I'm tired of being neglected, tired of being disappointed.

Everyone get disappointed... just as everyone will disappoint others.
this is the way humans are~ pure disappointments~
We disappoint God, we disappoint people, animals, country, land, sea, air~
The whole Universe are disappointed by the way we humans have lived..
So I've decided to pay no more heed to such feelings anymore.

I'm tired of feeling anymore~~
And at some point I think maybe I don't even feel anything anymore..
My heart is beating, but it feels dead..
Probably a sign that I'm growing up eh?
Probably this is the reason why, many adults dont show their emotions..
Because they no longer have any..

I'm tired of everything..
This is the end.
"Good guys dont get happy endings."
So I have to make my own ending.. and on this journey I shall make the best of it.
No matter what comes my way, I'd overcome it my way.
This is my resolve. This is the start.

Happy 21st Birthday to me!
May all my past be forgotten and start of a new age begin~